10 Reasons He’s Pulling Away and How To Fix It

I’d be Beyoncé-rich if I had a penny for every time a woman has asked me why men withdraw. Leave that question unanswered.

Write what you know, or so the saying goes. I could have easily written three books on this subject, but I think it’s best if I just give you the gist. An intriguing mystery is why males withdraw. How come? I’ve had guys run away from me and been abandoned at airports. After flying halfway around the world to meet one guy.

In other words, more times than I can count, I’ve asked myself this question on a Tinder date.

The real reason guys are withdrawing and why you must hear it!

Insane amounts of time spent investigating the subject led me to a shocking conclusion: men avoid eye contact because they’re cowards.

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Please don’t kill me if you’re a guy who reads this, but it’s the truth. Even though I recognize that not all men are alike and may retreat for different reasons, this is the best rational explanation I can come up with. One of two things: either I’m nuts, or that’s what it is. And let me assure you, I’m doing just fine.

Your head nodding in agreement isn’t an acceptable response. You’ll need to dig a little deeper and find something more solid. You shouldn’t automatically dismiss the “it’s me, not you” explanation.

1. You pose a danger.

You pose some danger to him. Maybe things will work out if he decides to be with you. I realize it won’t be much, but it’s a major thing for the males in my life. Perhaps he finally realizes how incredible you are and knows that if he picks you, his life is over. For him, you’re it.

But women can handle it, whereas males simply can’t. They’re too worried about being alone to ask out the one person who would complete them perfectly.

2. The pressure is getting to him.

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Generally speaking, men buckle under intense scrutiny. No matter what they say, they will panic if you apply even the slightest amount of pressure. Yes, actually. If you’re constantly badgering him to ask you to marry him or bring his parents to see you, you need to back off. This will simply drive a greater wedge between you.

Simply bringing it up once is sufficient; avoid doing so. Men require more time to process information. Don’t force him; give him space to deal with it independently.

3. Worry is weighing on him.

Men can easily become wrapped up in their studies and careers. As we all know, women juggle several different responsibilities at once, while males rarely do. Their thoughts become preoccupied with whatever is bothering them. In that scenario, you should back off and give him time to work things out on his own.

4. There’s no chase.

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Men enjoy both being chased by and chasing after women. Everything is just a game. The chase is over; he has won if you are together. However, he’s bored at the moment. And he understands that you’ll always be there for him no matter what happens. Therefore, he is distancing himself from you to set you aside temporarily. You’ll need to take precautions to prevent him from harming you.

5. He is doubtful that you are the one for him.

Why do males tend to withdraw? Another wild theory, I tell you. He is uncertain. He thinks you’re great and likes you, but he’s still on the fence about whether or not you’re the one for him. That’s right; I realize how ridiculous that is.

We have been here with someone, and most of us can’t fathom why somebody would do this to another person. The fact is, nevertheless, that such things do occur. I once told a guy I loved him, and he responded with “I’m not 100% sure”—an justification I still find flimsy on reflection, but whatever. In his mind, if you’re the one and he’s reacting this way, he’s not the one for you.

6. There simply wasn't any place for you in their priorities.

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He never considered you a potential long-term partner. Although he enjoys spending time with you and engaging in sexual activity, neither of you intended this to develop into anything serious. You should end things with him as soon as possible if he has never made you a priority or if he is starting to treat you like an afterthought.

7. Your boyfriend has decided to end things with you.

This happened to me. In the two weeks I lived with my lover, he never once kissed me. He quit wishing me a good morning on my way to class. You know, just a bunch of little stuff that ended up adding up.

After two weeks of dating, he finally told me he wanted to end things. I saw him backing away and assumed it was because he was interested in another woman. It’s possible that several factors are at play here.

8. He's involved with someone else.

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This is a major contributing factor to his distancing himself. Alright, then there will be additional indicators. He may withdraw emotionally and physically (such as by not touching or engaging in sexual activity with you). Now, if he is also distant in addition to these indicators, it’s likely that you aren’t the only one. Don’t be a dummy and assume anything without checking with him first.

9. There's a chasm between the two of you.

Possibly, he doesn’t consider you worthy of a long-term commitment. And in the meantime, you’re getting ready to meet his relatives. Do you get my point? You’re not on the same page, and he may be trying to slow things down since he’s aware of this. His heart isn’t in it yet. If this is the case, he’ll stop making waves by pulling back.

10. Something is bothering him.

One possibility is that it has nothing to do with you. Perhaps he and his parents had a dispute, or perhaps his boss is being unfair. Men are notoriously poor communicators, period. This may be completely unrelated to you. Unfortunately, he is too preoccupied with keeping his feelings to himself. So now you’re here, stressing out because he’s not interested in you. Contact him and have a chat.

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You should sit down and chat to him about it now that you know what causes guys to withdraw. Your own self-interest demands that you act now. If your current romantic partnership isn’t fulfilling your requirements, why stay in it?

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