Some people will do anything to make themselves feel better. You might be wondering what breadcrumbing is, but the truth is that it is very important to know how to spot breadcrumbing.
You might be wondering what “breadcrumbing” means as you read this. No, it has nothing to do with bread, but meeting someone for the first time can be a real pain. If you want to avoid the heartbreak that can come from falling in love too quickly, it’s important to know how to spot breadcrumbs.
Have you ever met someone and felt an instant connection? You’re having a great conversation, and you’re thinking that maybe something good will come out of it. It’s definitely a heady feeling.
You always text each other and talk on the phone, but nothing else happens. They aren’t making any new plans or asking to see you. And you might still be talking to them now. Well, this is called “breadcrumbing” if it has happened to you or is happening to you.
What does “breadcrumb” mean?
So what exactly is breadcrumbing? Well, breadcrumbing is when someone tries to lead someone else on on purpose to get them excited and boost their ego. A breadcrumber will flirt with you and talk to you, doing whatever they can to hook you.
Then, after that, they mess with you by playing hot and cold games. We know how bad it is. It’s always feels nice to know that someone wants to get to know you better. But you don’t want them to do it out of pride. If you want to understand if you’re being breadcrumbed, check out these telltale signs. So, you can stop while you’re still ahead.
You know what breadcrumbing is, but why would anyone want to do it?
I guess you’d have to ask them! When someone uses breadcrumbing, it’s because they want to make themselves feel good. This has two points of view. The first is that flirting makes you feel good and lets them know you’re interested in them.
But the second one is a bit darker. When you use breadcrumbing, you build someone up and put them down at the same time. Some people really like that because it gives them a sense of power.
Now, if that’s the case, this is obviously not someone you want to be around, but it does happen. If you know what breadcrumbing is and how to spot it, you can avoid it and avoid falling into this person’s dangerous trap.
Breadcrumbs leave clear clues that you can’t miss. Find out what breadcrumbing looks like so it doesn’t happen to you.
1. They change from hot to cold
Oh, yes, “hot and cold” games are classics. This is something they are very good at, and it’s a clear sign that you’re being breadcrumbed. One day, they’re very talkative and text you all the time, making you feel like you’re the only one they’re talking to. The next day, it’s like you’re not there. This keeps happening over and over again.
2. They leave bread crumbs in different ways.
The thing is, when someone breadcrumbs you, they don’t just use one kind of breadcrumb. Instead, they will keep you “seen” on Whatsapp, but then they will like your photo on Instagram or comment on a Facebook post. So long as you keep thinking about them, you can never really forget them or move on. So, the definition of breadcrumbing includes a number of strategies that are meant to be confusing.
3. Most conversations don’t go very deep.
This doesn’t mean that you’re not smart. Sure, you two have probably had some deeper talks, but when you really carefully look at what you talk about, you’ll understand that there’s not much going on. In reality, the talks you have with them are simple and not very deep. They aren’t putting much effort into getting to know you because, in all likelihood, they don’t plan to stay. People with little depth are shallow.
4. When they’re with someone else
If they’re seeing other people while they’re texting you, it’s clear that they’re leaving you clues. Now, if you know they’re in an open relationship, this is a different situation. But if they don’t, it’s clear they’re trying to keep their options open. They want to date and hang out with a lot of people but don’t want to look like jerks, so they tell you they’re just dating casually. What does it mean to bench?
5. What does “breadcrumbing” mean? When they don’t ask you to come see them
If someone likes you, they will make time to hang out with you. It really is that easy. If someone doesn’t want to spend time with you, it means they don’t like you.
We know that the flirting makes you think something else, but look at what they do, not what they say. Even if they had all the free time in the world, they wouldn’t come see you.
6. They know when you’ve had enough of them.
Here’s the thing: just when you think you’ve moved on, they get in touch with you. How that works is funny. It’s like they have an internal clock that tells them when someone has moved on. Maybe they can read your mind, or maybe they just found you on social media. But we can bet that they’ll get in touch with you again at this time.
7. They will only talk to you when they want something from you.
Do they ever text you just to see how you’re doing? Most likely not. Instead, they only text you when they want something. Most of the time, when we say “something,” we mean sex. They’ll send you flirty jokes and maybe even ask you a question or two, but if you give them a few minutes, you’ll see what they really want.
8. The booty call is all they care about.
Now, just because you get a booty call doesn’t mean you’re being breadcrumbed. If you both agreed that it would be casual, it’s fine. But if not, that’s another thing. You haven’t heard from or see them in ages, and then you get a strange text from them late at night. Enter the text “booty call.”
9. They don’t keep their promises.
You had plans to see each other, but they canceled on you at the last minute. It’s fine if this only happens once. They don’t want to meet you ever, unless of course it’s for sex.
10. You don’t feel good about yourself in this situation.
When you talk to them, you don’t like how you feel about it. At first, it was fun to flirt, but now when the conversation is over, you feel sad. Sadness and disappointment don’t mean that a relationship is going well. This person shouldn’t be giving you these bad feelings.
11. When you talk to them, they are passive-aggressive.
When playing a mean game, no one wants to be caught. Maybe you’ve talked to them about what they’ve done, and now they’re being passive-aggressive and trying to trick you. Listen, you already know what’s going on, so don’t let what they say bother you. Listen to your gut, when you talk to a narcissist, they get angry about themselves.
12. You wonder what you did wrong
First, you didn’t do anything wrong. Butthe moment that you talk to them, you worry that something you said turned them off. That’s not true; that’s how the game works. It’s easier for them if you point the finger at yourself than at them.
When someone is playing you and trying to leave bread crumbs, it’s easy to get confused by their hot and cold behavior. But remember that it’s usually them, not you, who are causing these cycles of confusion and stress.
Do only narcissists use these kinds of tricks?
No, not at all. Even though narcissists might use breadcrumbing when they’re bored, it’s just one of a huge number of ways they can manipulate people. But there are also people who like to breadcrumb just to boost their own egos. They aren’t necessarily narcissistic, but they don’t really put their best foot forward either.
When someone doesn’t believe in themselves, they either focus on themselves or try to bring others down to feel better about themselves. You can only be glad that you figured out their trick before you fell for it. You don’t deserve and should not be treated like this, so you should stop talking to them.
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