In today’s dating landscape, many couples get together during the “hookup” stage, which is counter to the traditional order of things. It’s important to recognize the signs you are nothing more than a hookup, as typically dating leads to romantic sentiments and ultimately leads to making love.
But recently, I’ve noticed that after only a few drinks at a pub, many individuals skip the whole dating part—which I don’t get because if you’re a girl, it’s free food—and rush straight to the bedroom.
This makes it harder to gauge if the other person is interested in a serious relationship after the initial flurry of sexual encounters. You may start to feel something for them, but have they moved past the stage of viewing you solely as a hookup material? That appears to be the most challenging aspect of modern dating.
How to Tell If You’re Just a Hookup and Nothing More
One of my closest friends doesn’t enjoy romantic interactions with females for some inexplicable reason. He always just files them under “hookup” and moves on with his life, using them as a source of sexual pleasure before forgetting about them.
I asked him for advice on how to tell whether a person is simply interested in you for a hookup because neither I nor anybody I know has ever been in the hookup-only zone. When he uses these gestures, he is trying to convey the message that he is only interested in one thing. When a woman receives these signals, she knows she is not more than a sexual object to him.
Nighttime is the only time you encounter them.
Seeing them solely at night is a telltale sign that you’re nothing more than a sex partner. They spend the day preoccupied with everything but you and finally show up in the evening. If this describes your current significant other, you’re probably not more than a casual hookup.
You’re always making hasty decisions.
They aren’t prioritizing you if they’re often last-minute-texting you to “watch a movie” at 9 o’clock at night. That they have classified you as “simply sex” is obvious evidence of that.
You never go “out.”
Inability to go on dates and frequent insistence on staying in means that the two of you have little to do together outside of your apartment. If that’s the extent of your relationship with the person you often strip down to the skin, then that’s probably all you are to them, too. They won’t go out of their way to plan a romantic supper if all they want is sex, and they already have it.
They never discuss their private lives.
If you don’t know much about their background, family, or interests, they may be trying to keep you at arm’s length so you won’t pursue anything serious with them. This is their primary goal.
There has never been a “talk.”
They may be avoiding the subject if you and your partner have never discussed your relationship’s scope or defined its nature. They probably don’t want to come clean with you and admit they’re solely interested in sexual encounters with you.
They put off communicating via text or phone until much later in the day.
You know you’ve met someone who’s only interested in a one-night stand when you start getting no response to your “good morning” texts or calls before dinnertime. They can skip the “interested but not really” small talk and go straight to the “long day, can I come over?” text message.
You’ve never visited their home.
If you and your current BFF share living quarters but you’ve never been asked over, you might want to reevaluate your relationship. For the most part, this is because they think you’ll be stuck around for a short time and hence don’t want to bother their friends by introducing you.
They never spend an entire night.
He won’t tolerate any overnights. That’s conclusive evidence that their only motivation is sexual. They’re saving themselves the relationship-building activities (including cuddling, pillow conversation, and a charming breakfast in the morning) that they don’t want to undertake with you by foregoing the sleepover.
No post-sex hugging follows.
Indeed, you are correct. You’re just a hookup if they’re hittin’ it and quittin’ it right away, which means they’re not even sticking around for a nice embrace afterward. This demonstrates that they care little about being in your immediate vicinity… unless they intend to pound town.
They won’t add you on any social media platforms.
The implication of this is tremendous. You still need to be active on social media, even for a hookup. If they refuse your queries, though, it’s safe to assume they don’t want you prying into their private lives. This is a strong indication that their only interest in you is sexual.
They won’t be seen with you in public and will want to avoid you at all costs.
If you run into them at the mall or when out with friends, and they act as if they didn’t notice you or ignore your calls of their name, it’s because they don’t want to be associated with you. Perhaps they don’t want others to assume you’re a couple. Because they do not wish to be with you in that manner, and they want you and their friends to know it.
You can only have a party that lasts up to a few hours in your house.
When all they want to do when they’re with you is get in your trousers, it’s safe to assume they’re not interested in doing anything else with you than getting in your pants. You’re nothing more than a casual encounter.
You don’t have any endearing nicknames.
You don’t address each other by pet names outside of the context of having sex. You never refer to each other as “baby,” “honey,” “cutie,” or any other similar pet name. That’s because they don’t fit the profile of the target demographic for such names, which is a couple or a couple-to-be.
They do not try to please you during sexual activity.
If you’re simply a hookup, if you always feel like you need more, and they don’t seem to mind if you’re not completely fulfilled after sex. They’re cool with it as long as they receive what they want from it. You just described the precise mentality of someone who simply wants you for a sexual encounter.
You are always the one to initiate conversation unless it involves a sexual encounter.
It’s always on you to initiate contact, unless they’re calling to arrange to drop by later that evening. They don’t want to have that conversation. Thus it never happens. If they see you as nothing more than a sexual object, this is a huge red flag.
They are upfront about the fact that they are seeing other people.
If they’re already seeing other people, they’re not interested in anything serious with you. They probably hope you won’t ask for more because they’re going out of their way to make sure you understand.
They assert as much.
If they define you as a “friend with benefits” or use other terminology implying they merely want to hook up with you and have no romantic feelings for you, that’s the clearest warning. Clearly, all they’re interested in from you is a one-night stand.
Many are OK with nothing more than a casual fling, but there are also those who are hoping for something more but aren’t sure whether that’s what the other person wants. And these are the 17 telltale indications that your boyfriend only sees you as a hookup and nothing more.
Meaningful articles you might like: 7 Stages of Emotional Affairs and the Tricks It Plays in Your Mind, 7 Things Good Men Do That Females Misinterpret as Flirting, Dealing with a Boyfriend Who Takes You for Granted