Last month, I went mountain hiking with my friends.
I deeply realize that age is inversely proportional to willpower. When I was halfway through the trial, I felt that my legs were no longer mine. Friends will help each other at first, but few people care offer helps in the latter half of the journey.
A friend once told me,
The joy of hiking has never been in the scenery; all the passersby are enough for him to write a book.
I didn’t believe it before, but this time I experienced it deeply.
We traveled with a group of college students outing in the spring, like a club organizing activities.
When we first started, everyone was energetic, talking and laughing. Among us, an enthusiastic and lively boy caught my attention. He was carrying a double shoulder and holding a plastic bag in his hand. It was full of food and looked heavy.
But he still greeted the backward classmates all the way, helped them get things, and asked everyone if they wanted to rest, just like a patriarch.
My friends were impressed on how he is different from our regular impressions are on the post-ninety generation. On the contrary, those of us who call ourselves old-fashioned, hiking on our own but not offering much help.
I feel ashamed to think about it.
Seeing people’s hearts in a difficult situation is even more obvious when hiking on a long trail.
Everyone’s physical strength and willpower are very different, and it is not easy to reach the end together. I think with such an enthusiastic person by my side; the whole hiking should be easier.
However, I was wrong.
Close to the middle, the plot reversed unexpectedly.
Everyone is like a frost-beaten eggplant; everyone’s head was downcast, walking forward with difficulty, without the energy to say a word.
At this time, the enthusiastic boy’s face suddenly became stinky, and everyone who talked to him was indifferent. He walked and complained about why the female classmate had to bring so many things.
The full of kindness eventually turned into a heavy burden. He was ashamed to distribute the things to others, and he was tired to continue carrying, so he was angry.
At this time, a boy who had been unknown suddenly came over, smiled and handed him a bottle of Coke, took his backpack, and patted his shoulder, and said, “We are almost there.”
Seeing him sweating profusely, I couldn’t help but sigh; the self-cultivation of a person depends on how he looks when he is tired.
When comfortable, most people are willing to be kind. Only when you are physically and mentally exhausted can you be considerate of others’ suffering, and that is the kindness that is deep in your bones.
Some people, as long as they are tired, only themselves are left in their eyes and hearts. Not only can they not be expected to cheer you on, but they must also be busy pacifying their bad temper.
Others, no matter how tired, understand that it’s not easy for you too, even if they can’t help you, at least they won’t cause you trouble.
The gap is evident.
In daily life, such people are not uncommon. When shopping, eating, and driving, you can always see people quarreling, and the busier the place, the more people fighting.
Many high-end people who usually behave outstandingly could expose their actual color once they are exhausted.
Almost every time I take a long-distance flight, I can meet passengers who are reluctant to flight attendants. They know those flight attendants have many insurmountable permissions and have many helpless difficulties. However, still, they vent their grievances on them without restraint, and the only reason for them to be confident with their behavior is that I am tired.
This is not a naive mentality of giant infants; after all, it is still not well-trained.
When refreshed, everyone is willing to help. Only when you are exhausted can you see a person’s self-cultivation—the better the self-cultivation, the stronger the self-control.
The so-called self-control is nothing more than not using your unpleasant moment to punish others.
Our boss has a golden rule:
Don’t send emails late at night, and don’t meet customers when you didn’t sleep well.
Therefore, every time a customer requests unnecessary overtime, he will reject it then blast us home early to sleep. He always said that we might not behave well when we are not sleeping well.
He probably knows that it is easy to expose his human nature when he is tired, and most of human nature is not very good-looking.
In the past few years in the workplace, I have seen a lot of bloody lessons.
Business partners who have been cooperating for many years are not willing to back down because of petty gains.
Old colleagues who have known each other for a long time made swear words because of a bit of disagreement, and many people who worked diligently for many years finally lost the temper to a sleepless night.
And most of these situations happen at the moment when people are exhausted.
An old colleague once quietly told me that if you want to know if a person is suitable for teaming up, see him on Friday night.
For this reason, I carefully observed the colleagues’ performance on Friday night overtime, and it turned out to be full of misconceptions.
Some people yelled hysterically with their family members on the phone, some had endless quarrels with the takeaway boy because of the wrong dishes, and some even complained that his colleagues were clumsy and had to work overtime during the weekend.
But these people are elites who don’t care about gains and losses and act impulsively during the day. It isn’t very pleasant to think about it.
But some people have been going through it for several days, and they can still smile and come to you to ask if they need help.
Such a person is a teammate like a gold.
I often ask such a great team member in the office what to do if I’m so tired that I can’t help but go crazy. He only said two words: stay alone.
Of course, well-trained people are not gods, and they are also tired and need comfort. However, they know how to deal with their wounds when exhausted instead of throwing their destructive emotions to others casually.
Many people say that when exhausted, people’s behavior is not controlled by the brain, and their emotions, mood, and even the perspective of viewing the world will become hostile and dim.
I have a deep understanding of this. If I stay up late and work overtime for several days in a row, I will be very irritable all day long. Products are out of stock, food delivery is overtime, traffic jams, pedestrians rushing in, and things that I would never take to my heart suddenly become very troubled, and then I begin to suffer. That’s the time I can’t help to get angry at innocent people.
But it was this difficult time that opened up the ranks between people. It’s like a mountain hike. Everyone is full of spirits in the first half of the journey.
Only when you are exhausted can you see the gap.
And this gap is not just how fast you can climb to the top, but more importantly, what kind of posture you take to reach the end because a person’s cultivation is deep to the bones in this posture.
And such people are genuinely worthy of association.