A good relationship is not that tens of thousands of people love you; it is the right person in tens of thousands of people that only loves you.
I saw a sentence on TikTok with a high like rate: If a lot of people like you, then you must be terrible.
It is a good thing to be liked. How can it prove that you are terrible? But when I really think about it, there is the logic behind it.
Suppose there are many people of the opposite sex pursuing you. In that case, the first thing you need to do is to ask yourself, is it because you are not good enough so that so many people have the confidence to pursue you?
I have said before that there are two conditions for deciding whether a man will pursue a woman. One is your value or attractivity. This is easy to understand. You and Angelina Jolie will attract a large number of different interests.
The other is your availability, or his confidence, in other words, the chances of success in pursuing you. If you are as attractive as Angelina Jolie, there must be many people interested in you, but they will not take practical actions to pursue you; the number will drastically reduce.
In economics, there is an evaluation method called supply and demand determinism. The less the supply or, the greater the demand, the higher the price of the resource. Beauty is the result of scarce resources. The same goes for attractive girls. They choose the best from many “supplies” based on their level and appearance. It is only a natural choice.
In most cases, as the active party in love, men do more work in pursuing than women. When the pursuit fails, these efforts will become sunk costs and will not bring any benefits.
And men, as efficient and self-aware animals, when they know the result of pursuing you, will likely still fail after great effort, then most will not be willing to take action. There may be a few words on how they like you, but the actual spending of time, money, or energy is not much.
Suppose you have a lot of opposite sex pursuing you. In that case, there are two possible situations: one is that your value is exceptionally high, so high that they feel that even if they need to face the siege of many rivals, as long as they have you in the end, it all worth it.
But generally speaking, this kind of situation happens only in idol drama, which is extremely rare in real life.
The second situation is that your availability is exceptionally high, or at least “seems highly available,” so that a man feels that he only needs to say a few sweet words to get you quickly.
In this case, as long as your other conditions are not too bad to accept, there will never be a lack of suitors because men are essentially not resistant to low-cost mating opportunities.
Some time ago, I went to a friend’s birthday party. As soon as I walked into the room, I saw a girl holding a wine glass and showing off, “Really!? You are all 30 years old soon; why are so many singles? , Unlike me, I don’t even know whom to pick. A few days ago, a guy who drove a BMW invited me to dinner every day and gave me a bottle of Chanel perfume, saying that he wanted to marry me. Some time ago, a Mercedes driver said that he wanted to divorce for me.”
I saw that the girls sitting next to her ignored her, but some boys graciously got up and poured drinks for her.
As far as I know, the Mercedes-Benz guy that the girl said was really enthusiastic about pursuing her at the time. It was true that he said to get a divorce and marry her. But it was soon ended when his wife discovered her existence after three months.
I also know that BMW guy. His conditions are really good, but he is also full of superiority. He thinks he is a golden bachelor, and he slaps girls everywhere. This girl is just one of his slapsticks.
She is, in fact, very pitiful. Up to now, I still haven’t met a man who truly loves her. Over time, she enjoyed the feeling of being surrounded by men, regardless of whether the boy was married or sincere.
Indeed, it may not be a good thing for a girl liked by many guys.
When you’re single, you’re most afraid of meeting someone who is not picky.
At this time, I hope that girls understand the truth. It is not a good thing to be liked by so many guys.
If a girl is accustomed to low-quality likes, this will cause her drop standards for men to become lower and lower.
There is a saying I like very much, saying that low-quality social interaction is not as good as high-quality solitude. When you are used to being surrounded by inferior men and are still complacent in it, then your life can only revolve around these people.
Therefore, we must try to avoid such low-quality pursuits. The most fundamental way is to improve our own value, so that the pursuers’ quality will naturally increase accordingly.
I have a friend who is almost 40 years old. Her conditions are excellent. She looks magnificent, and she works out regularly to take care of herself. She looks as if in her late 20s or early 30s. She is sweet, caring, and by the way she very independent financially. But she has been single for a long time. .
Some time ago, there was finally news that she was preparing to get engaged. She said that she was single for so long but was anxious in her heart, but she had never met anyone who suits her standards. One is that her circle is relatively advanced, and the other is that she never comes into contact with boys who are worthy of her.
It was not until the beginning of the year that she met the perfect guy who had only been focusing on his career in the earlier years.
If you want to meet excellence, you must be excellent.
Another feasible approach is to reduce your availability. When a low-standard opposite sex shows interest to you, reject him decisively and don’t give him a chance to fantasize. They will never have the courage and perseverance to stalk you.
If you are timid and can’t directly say your refusal, then you can be a little colder when the other party teases you. You can reply with short sentences such as “um”, “oh,” and “I know,” whatever he says. After doing this a few times, the boys basically understand your attitude towards him.
People who lions have protected don’t like wild dogs. Some people’s love wants to give you everything you like in the world, while some people’s love asks you eight hundred times a day: where are you, what are you doing? His love only lives in his mouth, saying it is equivalent to doing it, and it is extremely cheap.
So, when you attract many such men, I hope you can ask yourself, did you do something wrong? After all, a good relationship is not that tens of thousands of people love you; it is the right person in tens of thousands of people that only loves you.