5-Minute History of Condoms

Every object has some history. Sure, rubber socks designed to cover penises have their origins somewhere. Learn about the evolution of condoms here.

Condoms: a brief yet eventful history

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Whether you’re already very interested in the topic of condoms and their history or not, there’s a lot to discover. Ready to ride the waves of astonishment and wonderment?

The use of condoms is so 1990s. 

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When I say “old school,” though, I mean as old as the Stone Age. There is evidence that the condom has been around since before the common era. See? I warned you. Condom use is depicted in prehistoric art.

Sure, they weren’t quite like condoms we use today, and it’s not like they labeled what the materials were composed of, but they did use something to cover their penises. No one ever said cavemen weren’t smart.

It wasn’t always easygoing. 

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Pieces of linen were stitched together by hand to create the first authentic condom record. These condoms were either completely around the penis or just at the tip. Linen is a touch rough, so it probably isn’t the most comfortable, and I’m not even sure how well it protects. The Roman Empire utilized them, and we all know how much those guys enjoyed the sexual activity, so I imagine they were effective.

It was then that the situation became uncomfortable.

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I fear we are entering a new, condomless dark age. A historical period that many women of that age would rather not talk about. In Asia, the upper class began using glans condoms, which merely encase the penile tip. Initial versions of this were crafted from oiled paper or animal intestines.

They then began to use tortoise shells and animal horns as an added layer of defense. It’s true what you’ve read. They impregnated their wife by inserting their penises into tortoise shells or animal horns. When I read that, you read that, and we all squirmed. The only bright aspect was that someone with a little penis now had a rhino dick.

The early stages of the rubber condom were rocky. 

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Of course, technological progress led to the development of the rubber condom by 1855. It was made from a bicycle tire’s inner tube and of the same thickness.

It’s great to have the lubricant that was developed in the UK. 

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The United Kingdom gets high marks from me for its double-decker buses and its use of lubricant. The first ever lubricated condom was introduced in 1957 in the United Kingdom. True enough. The United Kingdom rescued the world from spitting on their dicks or slathering it with butter. A pre-lubricated dick is a massive thing, a game-changer, from spitting.

The spread of AIDS encouraged people to start using condoms. 

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AIDS was the sickness that did the most to promote condom use. As soon as it was realized that HIV might be spread in this way, people began to take condom use seriously. Condom makers began pushing their products heavily during the height of the AIDS crisis.

For some reason, condoms became humorous in the 1980s. 

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The 1980s were a fantastic decade. The combination of workout clothes, perms, and Madonna is hard to resist. To compete in the ’80s, condom companies veered away from the tried-and-true design of the product. As soon as this happened, little condom packets began to fill up with a rainbow of scents, sensations, and colors. That condom flavor you like so much, strawberry? Please thank the decade of the 1980s.

Who, though, invented the condom? 

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Even now, I haven’t gotten around to doing this. Perhaps it’s because I’d like you to imagine that a guy by the name of John Condom came up with the idea for the condom. That’s fine, he didn’t. His name was Charles Goodyear, and he invented the rubber condom. The tire on the bike, right? It’s him over there.

The use of condoms was once illegal. 

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Do you really believe that condoms can be used in every situation where it is legal to do so? Try again. In 1918, condom use was finally sanctioned in the USA. In order to put that into context, that’s roughly the same time that my grandparents were born.

That was obviously not too long ago. A reasonable explanation for the delay would be appreciated. First of all, having sex was considered a sin in the United States. This war was finally put to rest in the year 1920 when latex was first patented.

Fortunately, a condom designed specifically for women is available. 

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Although the male condom receives more attention, the female condom is also an option. Simply put, fewer people are aware of it. This, however, predates our modern era by a decade, until 1937. Besides protecting the external genitalia, it also serves as a vaginal lining.

The condom industry is booming. 

Despite competition from the pill and the famed “pull-out” procedure, the condom industry is very profitable.

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The global condom market was worth $6 billion in 2015, and its expansion is anticipated to continue. One positive development is increased demand in emerging markets like Asia, Africa, and the Middle East. Overseas, more and more people are learning about the advantages of using condoms.

Knowing the background of condoms will give you something to talk about while making love. Talk about the history of latex while you thrust. That is going to blow their minds. This is a joke; I wouldn’t bring it up again until after we’ve had some intimate time together.

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