- Days of Summer: 10 Lessons
Great actors. Amazing soundtrack. An unbelievable and remarkable storyline that happens more often in real life than in romantic comedies on the big screen. These are few of the reasons why we all fell in love with Tom and Summer in (500) Days of Summer.
The movie’s surprising plot and resemblance to real life made us pick up a lot of things from the movie. Some of these we are already aware of, but have been taking for granted, like having younger siblings lecture us about our lives, while others are eye openers such as the main characters’ undefined casual sex-lationship.
- “It was good.” Summer responded to Tom’s question about her weekend with these three words. Summer’s imprecise response to Tom’s question threw him for a loop, and he imagined Summer was describing a weekend sex-athon with a handsome stranger. This is the first rule of thumb — don’t assume.
When it comes to relationships, friendships, or employment, it’s impossible to know what’s going on in the minds of our co-workers, colleagues, or loved ones. Summer’s three words were all that Tom needed to change his mind. In the movie, Tom believes that he is more special than Summer’s ex-lovers or anyone else with whom she had a sexual encounter. And this theme continues in the movie.
- There are times when you’d rather eat strawberry ice cream than pistachio. Moreover, people’s thoughts and sentiments shift as a result of this one fact alone. Summer and Tom’s relationship story hasn’t even been told yet, and we learn this early on in the film. Summer, on the other hand, had been dreading every minute of her time with Tom for a long time.
The way one feels can shift throughout time. Not even the person experiencing these emotions has control over them. Tom’s courage in confronting Summer about her change of heart was admirable, but the bad news is that he still cannot accept it. It’s inevitable that things will change, and we often have no control over whether or not they do.
3. Take a breather. Don’t hide in your comfort zone. Tom showed us that he has a new passion, and that is drawing and outlining the architecture of buildings. The greeting card industry isn’t what he actually enjoys doing. He may have stayed since he was afraid to leave the security of his current work because he didn’t want to risk losing it.
As long as you don’t give up on your dreams, you won’t wind up regretting your decision to stay in a safe career. Fortunately, Tom was pushed out of his comfort zone by the Summer saga. Waiting for a comparable thrust is not an option.
4. Pity Part? Why not!?!? Self-pitying and crying our hearts out are perfectly acceptable ways to begin the process of healing our shattered hearts. To avoid being mired in a rut, remember what Tom said: it’s acceptable to be sad for a while. When you’re feeling down, instead of blaming yourself, convince yourself that everything will work out in the future.
- I’m hoping for some sort of response from these tiny beings. Those helpless children, these helpless beings. Their perspective is never the same as that of an adult, and they never actually think like one. Often, the finest people to help us deal with our sadness or other personal difficulties are children.
As a character in the film, Tom’s younger sister was always there for him, providing him with a surprising amount of wisdom and insight. She said, “The next time you look back, I really think you should look again.” To describe Tom’s habit of remembering the happy occasions and forgetting the negative ones, she said: Occasionally, all we really need is a clean perspective.
6. We stand out. And it’s possible that none of us is even aware of it. In Summer, there was nothing typical about her. There was evidence in the movie showing how much better things were because of Summer’s presence. She had no idea she was doing it, but she kept on living as if she would die tomorrow, unconcerned with the passing of time and savoring every moment.
In order to convince ourselves that we are exceptional or that we have the power to influence others in a positive way, we don’t need any proof. The nicer things in life will come to those who have a positive outlook and a drive to achieve them, and we could be surprised at what these nice things turn out to be.
7. “To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.” For the first time, Tom and Summer were brought together by a song by The Smiths. Songs have the power to unite people. Just think about how it feels to hear that someone you don’t know very well likes the same kinds of music that you like… You immediately sense a connection with the other person. In order to begin, you don’t need a love relationship.
8. It’s all in the small print. When you begin to notice the tiniest of things about someone, you know you’ve fallen in love with them. It’s in the way they look at you, how they look when they wear a particular shirt color, how they smile, and so many other little things. When Tom thinks of Summer, he hears this song playing in the background.
In the movie, Tom came to dislike these facts when he and Summer stopped seeing each other, thus it’s a good thing to be able to remember these things about someone. Even if the specifics remain the same, your response to it will be. If you’re interested in knowing what other things guys notice about women, check out this list.
- It’s not for everyone to fall in love. Remember what Summer said about love and relationships in the karaoke bar? She remarked that she doesn’t believe in love and that relationships are a mess. Summer isn’t the only woman who enjoys savoring her personal freedom and independence. And that’s a good thing, too.
Because they realize that they may never find the right partner, women who believe in this tend to hold fast to their convictions. It’s also important to accept their choices about having or not having romantic relationship.
10. “What always happens, life.” Explaining why something happened or how it came to be the way it was can be draining. Summer’s response to these kinds of situations: “Life occurs” can be a nice one.
If the great Greek philosophers and mathematicians couldn’t understand it, maybe we shouldn’t bother thinking about it. We may feel a hundred times better if we just let fate take its course and accept what comes our way.