Navigating the emotional rollercoaster that comes with having a male best friend can be challenging for women. This manual for women and men about the male best friend offers heartfelt guidance and practical advice to strengthen and cherish these unique, platonic bonds.
From the girl’s point of view, her best male friend is a lot of fun to hang out with. There’s no sexual tension between them; it’s just old-fashioned friendship, which a lot of people can’t seem to understand. People may wonder why they don’t go out on dates, but for them, it’s just not something they’re interested in.
From a guy’s point of view, his best guy friend could be dangerous. Sometimes the male best friend’s friendship feels too close for comfort. He knows she’ll run to her best friend at the first sign of trouble, and it’s hard for him to think of another guy comforting his girlfriend.
Here’s why it’s a threat, ladies:
Here are some reasons why guys won’t be so happy to find out that your best friend is a guy.
Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?
Since the solution to this age-old issue is subjective, it’s likely that your partner will have a hard time grasping it.. Your male best friend has been close to you when you’ve had different emotional needs. Your guy will always wonder why you’re not dating your best friend or if you don’t at least have a crush on each other.
Most likely, your guy best friend knows you better than anyone else.
If this person is really your best friend, he probably knows you better than almost everyone else, including your boyfriend. He has seen you at different points in your life when you were most vulnerable and has helped you through important times.
You’ve had experiences no one else can match: laughter, tears, and a deep bond. Still, the last thing your new boyfriend wants to hear at the start of your relationship is that he’s already second fiddle. He wants to be your best friend, after all.
Most likely, you tell your best friend how bad your boyfriend is.
It’s a fact of life that people talk about their relationships with their best friends. This is normal and sometimes even healthy, as long as the person who is complaining still respects their partner. No matter what, your boyfriend doesn’t want to think about how your male best friend knows his flaws every time he looks at the guy.
There’s a chance that your guy best friend is being a jerk.
Before you start yelling at your boyfriend for overreacting to your best friend, take a step back and make sure he’s not telling the truth. Is your best guy friend mad that you have a new guy? If so, he could be intentionally making trouble for you and your boyfriend or by accident. Find out if this is true, and if it is, do something about it before you lose both your relationship and your friend.
How To Deal with Your Girlfriend’s Male Best Friend
There are some easy things you should and shouldn’t do with your girlfriend’s male best friend. Just take a deep breath and try to remember:
Don’t fight over who’s in charge.
No one will get anywhere by beating each other up in a symbolic sword fight. The male best friend probably wants to show that he’s staying and that he’s important in your girlfriend’s life. You, on the other hand, want to show that she loves you.
Even though it’s important for both men to find a place in her life, this isn’t the way to do it. You’ll probably both end up fighting with the woman in question. Don’t act like a child and make her life a little easier.
Don’t make her choose.
You’re being a jerk if you try to get your girlfriend to choose you over her best friend by accident. Unless he’s making your relationship really hard for no reason, you’ll probably just have to sit back and accept that he’s in her life.
After all, if they wanted to be together, they would be together. You aren’t stopping that from happening. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say anything if you feel unappreciated or uncomfortable, but you should be careful how you bring up the subject, so she doesn’t feel like she has to defend herself.
Do have a talk.
It can be hard to talk things out with your girlfriend, but it has to be done. If something bothers you about the way she is with her best friend, you should say something about it before you blow up.
Don’t blame them. Tell her that you don’t expect her to get rid of him, no matter how much you want her to, that you know you’re being jealous, and that you’re sorry if this puts her in an awkward situation. After that, explain calmly that you feel like he’s a third wheel and that you’re worried they might like each other behind your back. You can also talk about any other worries you might have about the situation. If your girlfriend is a real woman, she’ll care about how you feel and help you talk it out.
Try to get along with the guy she hangs out with.
Even though you’re not the kind of guy who likes other guys, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. In fact, everything will go much more smoothly if you work on becoming friends with this guy. Find something you both like, like a video game or a band, and build a friendship around that.
Think about how she feels and be kind.
Don’t forget that your girlfriend had a life before you came along. She can be friends with anyone she wants. You don’t have to like her friends, but you do have to treat them with respect. Imagine yourself in her place. What if, after years of being friends, she told you to break up with your best friend? The idea itself is absurd.
In the end, both the boyfriend and the best friend just want to know that they have a place in the girl’s life that another elephant won’t threaten at the watering hole. Everyone has to do their part for it to work, so put on a smile and get to it.
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