In an examination of relationships, it becomes clear that as we get older and better at dating, we need to start thinking of our girlfriend or boyfriend as our partner instead of just the person we’re dating. In a relationship, both people should be able to give and take in a way that makes them both feel good and fosters mutual growth.
But what happens when you finally find the right balance and become a “we”? Are you destined to be the world’s cutest, most annoying couple who never do anything without talking to each other first? Some people might find that funny, but it’s actually a pretty good example of what a relationship should be like, even if it’s a bit over the top.
A Relationship With “Me”
When you’re committed to someone but still can’t give up being the Queen Bee or King Bee, you’re in a “me” relationship. You’re happy with your partner and enjoy spending time with them, but you’ve let your relationship become all about you and what you want.
We’re all a little bit self-centered, and it’s easy to let someone dote on you, but you need to remember that your partner also needs to shine. When someone starts to feel like they are being taken for granted or undervalued, they start to think about running away.
A Relationship With “You.”
You know what you like about your partner: they are kind, loyal, patient, make you laugh, or give you emotional support in a way you can’t imagine anyone else doing. Also, your partner has a life of their own, and they don’t hold back from letting you be a part of it.
But you know your partner hasn’t yet let you into their lives as a “we” couple when they handle the important parts of your relationship themselves. It might be nice not to have to worry about what’s going on with your partner, but if you’re in a “you” relationship, you might feel like you’re not even asked what you think about important things.
Making a relationship that is too self-centered or too selfless into the ideal “we” relationship.
Changing from “you” to “we” can be both freeing and frustrating, but it can also bring people together. To become a “we,” you need to be both socially and personally mature. Becoming a “we” means more than being able to brag about being in the “Successful Relationship Club” casually. It also means more than saying, “we” saw this movie last night, “we” now love Indian food, or “we” would love to come to dinner on Saturday night.
Instead, it means putting your needs on the same level and deciding which one needs to be met first. Here, you need to be able to find a happy medium between getting what you want and giving your partner what they want.
To be a “we” couple, you have to work together and share the work. You don’t do too much to make the relationship work, but you also don’t put all your hopes on your partner.
What To Expect from A Relationship Based On “We.”
Being a “we” means you’re no longer just a boyfriend or girlfriend but real partners. Here are some things that will happen when you work as a “we.”
Seeing how each other is doing.
No more staying out late with friends or going missing for a week at a time without telling your partner. When you become a “we,” you both have a right to know what the other is doing, whether it’s a trip, a night out with friends, or even just a little extra work at the office.
You decide things as a group.
I used to date a guy for over a year, and we both considered it a serious, one-on-one relationship. Still, I never told him anything about big decisions in my life, like going back to school to become a nurse or starting a new job.
People who are used to living on their own may find it hard to make decisions at first, but the long-term benefits of truly sharing your life with someone far outweigh the stubbornness of keeping to yourself.
You can tell each other everything.
That means you can talk to someone who won’t judge you about your deepest fears and wildest dreams. You can now talk about gossip because you have this great opportunity. Yes, you’ve joined that annoyingly secretive club of couples whose friends know that when they say, “Don’t tell anyone,” they really mean, “Of course, you’ll tell your partner, but don’t tell anyone else.”
Did we say that when you become a couple, sex is much better? There’s something about being monogamous and having a fully developed “we” relationship that makes the bond of intimacy and trust feel like it’s going to explode during sex. Only if both people give and take can a relationship work. So you can expect to get as much as you give, even in the bedroom.
Some Bad Things About “We”
As with most things in life, doing too much of something can hurt you. Not even being too much of a “we” couple counts.
Many psychologists and relationship experts say that you shouldn’t put too much emphasis on the “we” part of a relationship. This happens when a couple spends too much time being a couple and not enough time being their own people. For example, people in unhealthy “we” relationships don’t have their own friends, time alone, interests that aren’t the same as their partner, or time with their family. Sometimes, an abusive relationship is linked to these signs.
It’s important to remember that even though you’re now a couple, you still need to have a strong sense of who you are as a person, even if you don’t have a partner. When you balance time together, and time alone, your “we” relationship will be much stronger.
Even though love, trust, and respect are thought to be the most important parts of a healthy relationship, balancing your needs and wants is also a key part of a healthy “we” relationship. When you decide to find that balance, you’ll see that even though a lot of your lives revolve around each other, it’s that balance that keeps you grounded as both a couple and an individual.
Related articles you might like: 10 Secrets To A Happy Relationship, Why Romantic Relationships End in Tears, How To Quit Obsessing Over A Perfect Date
