How often do you feel the urge to keep tabs on your significant other? If you’re contemplating planning to spy on your partner, you should know that spying may seem like a good idea at the time, but it only makes things worse in the long run.
The “Are you Snooping in your Relationship?” character Cindy’s story sticks out in your mind, right? Now put yourself in Cindy’s shoes and consider what you might do.
He would eventually break up with you if he found out that you had been spying on him. You wouldn’t have any evidence to back up your claim even if you raised it. There isn’t enough evidence, and the diary makes no mention of a passionate makeout session.
Remember that spying on your partner can be very satisfying, like discovering a treasure chest full of secrets. Of course, if you do turn up some unsavory information, the situation will only become more perplexing from here on out.
It’s said that lovers can understand each other’s thoughts. There’s no point in spying on your partner if falling in love means improving your occlumency or legilemens (don’t we all love Harry Potter?!). But in modern times, it’s much more difficult to truly understand and love another person than it is in the stories we were told as children.
If you’re feeling insecure about your relationship, spying on your partner can reassure you that everything is fine.
What if you know for a fact that your partner is bouncing off the sack with someone else, but you also firmly believe that spying is a serious invasion of privacy? Even worse, you’ve already confronted them, and now they’re denying it all happened. Is it a good idea to spy, especially if you have solid evidence to support your suspicions?
A 24-year-old named Jennifer claims that she is an advocate of spying on partners, if only for the sake of emotional safety. Her boyfriend, who she was living with, began coming home late every night and, on occasion, reeked of cigarette smoke and perfume, as if he frequently frequented nightclubs. He would tell her to be quiet by saying he was busy with the guys.
She had no reason to believe he had cheated on her, and she never did. She rummaged through his belongings while he was out with “his friends” one night and discovered two movie tickets in a tiny inner pocket of his jacket to use the following evening. She kept her mouth shut in case he asked her out the following day.
He told her the next day that he was going bowling with the guys, and he actually went. Jennifer arrived at the theater an hour later to confront her boyfriend. She claims the humiliation and physical discomfort were justified by the unforgettable scene.
It’s possible that your partner is one of the minority who actually cheats on their partner, but in most cases, it’s probably just a false alarm. Think of how your partner would react if they discovered you were spying on them.
Peaple whose partners are constantly spying on them are more likely to be the ones who stray. David, who cheated on his ex-wife, says, “I never did want to cheat on her, but it was really annoying. It used to be that whenever I returned home, she would search my pockets for condom packaging or inspect my boxers for stains. Walking home to a wife who wanted to confront me with cheating charges rather than the love I wanted from her was a traumatic experience. I finally decided, “what the hell, she doesn’t trust me anyway, so I’m just going to do it.”
Keeping tabs on your partner can have very negative consequences, wouldn’t you agree?