Being friends with your ex after marriage seems like a friendly and mature idea. But is it really mature? Read and find out what experts say.
It’s never easy to maintain a friendship with a former romantic partner. The desire to maintain a relationship with someone who had a significant impact on your life is understandable, but it’s important to be aware of any lingering conflicting emotions. Things grow even more confusing when you’re in a new relationship. In the event of marriage, can you continue to retain a relationship with an ex-lover?
To put it simply, marriage isn’t the deal-breaker. If you and your ex had a nice friendship during your long-term relationship, getting married shouldn’t change it. It’s all about you, your ex, and your current partner, not your marital status. Having a friendship with an ex might be quite normal at times. In either case, you and your ex-partner have moved on with little difficulty.
“Being friends with your ex after marriage seems like a friendly and mature idea.”
Nevertheless, feelings are nuanced—and the reality is frequently far more complex. Marriage, on the other hand, may provide the impetus for you to make a final decision about your connection.
Were You and Your Ex Friendly at the Time of Your Split?
Many people who call themselves “friends” with an ex aren’t. There is a good chance that you and this individual have been friends for a long time before you met your current partner and that there were no sexual overtones in your friendship. It’s more suspicious if they suddenly text you and ask to meet up for drinks after months or years of silence. If all you do is pop up in each other’s life from time to time and cause confusion, then your relationship isn’t worth maintaining, and it’s best to cut connections.
Consider whether your relationship is going well or whether you’re trying to satisfy some of your emotional needs elsewhere before you get too attached to this individual.
Remember that being friends does not imply that you are best friends. You don’t have to dance with your ex just because you’re buddies. It may simply be that you’re friends on Facebook or that you exchange birthday greetings by text message. You two may even have a cup of joe sometime soon. However, there are numerous methods to remain friends with an ex-partner without making your current relationship uncomfortable or feel awkward.
In your life, your marriage is the most essential thing. To maintain a shaky friendship with an ex isn’t worth risking your marriage to keep them around. Every step along the process, you must keep your partner’s sentiments in mind.
As long as your current spouse doesn’t feel threatened by your communication with your ex, it’s fine to keep in touch with them. You should expect your new partner to respect your friendship with this individual if you’ve known them for a long time. Ask yourself if you have deeper control issues if they can’t deal with any ex-partners or old hookups on the scene.