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Benching Signs that You’re Being Manipulated Right Now

Benching: Signs that You’re Being Manipulated Right Now

Has your relationship stalled and you don’t know what to do? To find out if they’re benching you, use these tips.

In the dating scene, new terms are always being coined to describe the myriad of emotions, mental games, and motivations that go into a romantic connection. Ghosting, tuning, and DTR are all examples of DTR. A new term, benching, has emerged to characterize something somewhat nefarious.

If you’ve ever been benched or benched someone else, you’re not alone; it’s more common than you might believe. Is it possible that you’re being benched, and how can you tell?

What does benching entail?

Keeping someone in limbo until they determine whether or not they want to commit to you is called benching. When a player is benched, he or she is no longer participating in the game, but is still on the sidelines in case he or she is required again.

You are practically being benched in your dating life because of this. Until they run out of other candidates or decide to bring you in, they know that you’ll be ready to go.

Benching, also known as bread-crumbing, is a tactic they use to maintain your interest while also giving themselves a variety of possibilities. In other words, even if they just put in minimal effort, they can rest assured that you’ll be there for them if and when they decide to show up.

Texting, social media, and online dating sites are common venues for this type of behavior because they give a private, secure environment free of any pressure to make plans. If you decide to walk away, they’ll have something to fall back on if they’re feeling self-conscious.

When you’re benched, how do you know?

Do you think you’ve gotten away with not being benched? Is this something you’ve fallen for without even realizing? Here are some ways to know.

They are both hot and cold. They abruptly grow distant or say things that appear to be out of character for no apparent reason after a long period of flirting and messaging. And then they’re back to being playful and flirtatious a week later. Depending on how much they want to keep you around, these mood swings grow more regular.

You can tell that little effort has gone into this. There are moments when you feel like you’re the only one putting in any effort, while everyone else seems to be putting in nothing.

If they don’t think you’re significant, they won’t waste their time and effort on you, so don’t bother trying to win them over.

Just words, with no deeds to back them up. Their hollow promises become more apparent the more time you spend with them. All of the promises they made were kept, including promises to phone and message you in the morning, and promises to meet at the end of the week. Then there are the times when they cancel at the last minute or don’t contact you for a week or more – if ever.

You’re being ignored online. They appear to be online all the time, yet they’re not contacting you by text. You earn nothing for all of their efforts, including content sharing, status updates, and likes on social media posts.

The age-old rationalization. In many cases, people would say they have been “so busy” that they simply did not have the time to respond to your messages.

Unless you work 19-hour shifts, are in medical school, or are a mega-celebrity, no one is ever that busy. Even so, they’ll make an effort to accommodate you if you so desire.

The playful connection is vanished. You’ve noticed that they’ve become less flirtatious with time. But they haven’t cut off communication; their behavior is more like that of a friend. It’s more than probable that they’re trying to remove themselves from you in case they decide to break up, while still keeping you around in the event that they decide to remain together.

This is how they portray themselves: as if this is normal. They’ll come back into your life and act as if nothing has happened after a long absence.

They assume that you’ve just sat around waiting for them to return and go right back to where they left off. They won’t always acknowledge their disappearance.

For the most part, you don’t see them anymore. You’ve begun to notice that there is no longer any true face-to-face contact between you. There is a tendency for them to create excuses or rapidly back out of dates when you plan them.

Because they don’t have to make a commitment, you’ll mostly be contacting them by phone or online.

It’s easy to see if you’re being benched, but the hard part is knowing when to walk away. Take back control if you feel like someone is keeping you on the sidelines. Make a stand for yourself and let them waste their efforts on someone else’s. That’s not enough for you!

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