Guide To Flirting For The Socially Inept

Do you find it difficult to approach a potential romantic interest? Feel confident in flirting with the help of this advice.

In today’s society, both shyness and being single seem to diseases. If you are socially uncomfortable and currently unattached, you may worry that you will always be alone.

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After all, approaching someone you have a crush on and flirting is not likely to be one of your skills if you are even slightly socially awkward. Some people are naturally skilled at making conversation with anyone they choose, whether it be a male or female.

But it doesn’t seem right that you shouldn’t have a shot at your crush or the person you’ve always dreamed of dating simply because you’re a bit scared and can’t come up with a truly amazing pick-up line.

10 ways introverts may flirt with more confidence.

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The reality is that you are not alone. Therefore, keep fighting. It’s true that we’re all a little out there. Some people are just inherently better at keeping their emotions in check than others. Here are 10 ways to play to your strengths in a flirtatious encounter. I promise that if you stick to them, you’ll have a much better chance of finally meeting the object of your affection.

1. Make use of how you normally dress and look.

While you’re socially shy, it’s easy to feel helpless in the face of new situations and when thinking about how to approach a person you admire.

At the time, you are stumped as to what to say or how to act, and you detest yourself for it later. As a result, it’s crucial to exert as much influence as possible over pre-interaction variables.

When it comes to flirting, you have more influence than you give yourself credit for when it comes to your style and general appearance. Sure, you’ve heard of “peacocking,” but that doesn’t mean you’ve done it. Differentiate yourself from the pack now! Express yourself through the clothes you wear. Put on anything that could spark a conversation, like a t-shirt advertising a band or movie you both adore. Wearing clothes that reflect who you are can help you meet people who share your interests and outlook on life. Before you even think about flirting, let your clothes do the talking.

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2. You can combat your shyness by adopting a bolder stance.

However, most people with social anxiety also struggle with confidence, which is a crucial ingredient in flirting. By taking the quick and courageous route, you can spare yourself the agony of spending weeks stalking your crush’s Facebook page, wondering if they feel the same way you do. Don’t be afraid to walk up to your crush and confess your feelings to them; all it takes is a deep breath and some serious courage.

The trick is to be forthright and confident before your reserved self realizes what’s happening. Just wave and say hello to people you see on the street; there’s no need to strike up a convo. Just saying hello is enough to start a conversation. You can gradually open up to this individual throughout future encounters with them.

A simple “you don’t have to do anything about it, but… I like you” might go a long way toward initiating a conversation with someone you may never see again or someone you don’t see very often. Leave it at that and leave. Now that they know how you feel, it’s their turn to act. You have likely not only charmed them but also impressed them with your sudden flash of confidence.

3. Don't make it about you.

When chatting to a person you crush, it can be tempting to talk endlessly about yourself out of a dread of silence and a lack of anything else to say.

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Keep the stream of self-involved information to a minimum. Instead, you should inquire about the other individual using direct and uncomplicated language. It’s not a bad idea to formulate some inquiries before an encounter occurs. What specific information are you seeking? Which questions do you think they would prefer to be asked?

You could always use this last-ditch flirting technique (which you may recognize from The 40-Year-Old Virgin) if everything else fails: Just answer their inquiry with another question. Do you like coffee? If asked, you might respond, “Do YOU like coffee?” Without realizing it, you’ll be flirting with someone.

4. Get some fresh air and exercise.

A person who struggles with social awkwardness may be more introverted than average and less likely to initiate social activities. This is probably not going to turn out well for you. Rather than withdrawing, you should come out into the open. What if you knew that your sweetheart frequently frequented a specific bar or pub? Nothing is stopping you from going there and having a good time. There was zero flirtation. Keep in mind that people like to gravitate toward upbeat, joyful types who know how to have a good time. Take along companions you know will share your enthusiasm for such an outlook.

The best results come when you least expect them in the dating world. In addition, spending time in your crush’s usual hangouts is a great way to increase the likelihood that they will notice you without any direct effort. Since you like to keep to yourself and avoid attention, this may be the first time they’ve heard of you.

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5. Make a virtue out of your shyness.

Turn your awkwardness into strength and quit telling yourself it’s a weakness. Awkwardness and timidity can be attractive qualities to some. So, act as if you think your crush feels the same way about you.

Any socially uncomfortable or timid person shouldn’t have any trouble with the various methods available. First of all, try to appear shy and coy. Try looking at the person you feel for, holding the gaze for a second, and then quickly averting your gaze out of shyness. You could probably distract yourself by fiddling uncomfortably with your hair while you chat to them.

If you find yourself acting more awkwardly than you’d like, take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone; nobody is perfect. They will probably find it cute. And if they don’t, you’re probably not the target audience.

6. Act out!

Avoiding eye contact, drawing inward, and treating other people like they are covered with germs won’t help you flirt. Flirting relies heavily on tactile touching and physical interaction.

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It takes conscious practice, courage, and a willingness to let free and get a little physical; having this skill is not innate for most people. To ease into the conversation, try making eye contact first. Occasionally, try to maintain eye contact with them for a little longer than normal. Next, step into them and purposefully brush your hand against theirs. If you feel comfortable doing so, consider touching their arm or hand while you converse with them.

7. Recognize existing knowledge and build upon it. 

If you’re at a loss for words, one strategy is to take stock of your environment and comment on it. Sharing experiences with someone you care about is a great way to grow closer to them, even if you don’t think they have much significance.

Maybe you both hang out at the same cafe or attend the same university class. You can start a conversation with a simple observation, such as “have you observed that their coffee is better on a Tuesday?” or “did you notice so-and-so fall asleep during that lecture?”

Making a joke about a cute quirk you’ve noticed in the person you have a crush on is a great way to let your feelings for them shine through. A life partner’s most desirable characteristics are a good sense of humor and a willingness to make you laugh. Jokes and playful banter are an easy way to flirt without having to resort to cringeworthy pick-up lines.

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8. Pause for a moment.

Assuming you’ve been following these suggestions, you and your crush are probably getting along swimmingly right now. But now is not the time to show signs of insecurity or eagerness. Not because you’ve made it this far does not imply you should start acting casually. Don’t give in to the urge to allow your emotions to decide the outcome. You don’t need reminders of how wonderfully your life is going; just accept that this is the case.

Allow them some space to ponder who you are. Usually, I try to avoid “playing games,” but I don’t see any downside to giving them some time to simmer. Absence, as the adage goes, makes the heart grow fonder. Calm down, but don’t let your guard down completely; you still need to pay attention to pedestrians. Keep your cool, but don’t be COLD. You could try waiting 15 to 20 minutes before replying to their text. You will feel more confident, and I promise your potential romantic partner will find you more attractive.

9. Accept failure and wear it as a badge of honor.

Humble people fear rejection more than anything else. Normal responses to rejection include giving up and becoming a crazy cat woman. Of course not; that’s not the mentality.

Calm down, but don’t let your guard down completely; you still need to pay attention to pedestrians. Indeed, you exerted effort and made a respectable effort. That means it didn’t work out the way you hoped, right? They weren’t worth it, and it’s not like the world is ending. What insights can you gain from the negative response? Is there anything you could change for the better? Embrace failure as a learning opportunity and remember that practice makes perfect.

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10. Don't even try to flirt.

Why not relieve some of the burdens by not flirting at all? Indeed, it is feasible to start as friends initially! Get to know your crush better without trying to impose a romantic relationship on them until you’re both ready. Knowing someone increases your chances of feeling comfortable sharing your feelings with them and picking up on cues about how they feel about you just by being in their presence.

If you’ve been holding back from flirting with the one you like out of fear of making a bad impression, keep these ten tips in mind and dive in headfirst.

No matter how shy you are, remember that flirting is always appreciated. You’re doing them a favor by increasing their confidence, and they’ll undoubtedly appreciate your effort. So, why do you linger?

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