How Not to Sound Desperate When Confirming a Date
To avoid seeming desperate while confirming a date, here are some tips. It all comes down to word choice and timing! We’ve got all the advice you’ll need to get the job done.
The first date, ahh. I’m unsure if I should do anything or not, and it’s giving me anxiety. But it all begins even before the date of the event! To avoid seeming needy, here’s a guide on confirming a date.
What category do you fit into?
A first date divides people into two camps: those who savor the mystery and adventure, and those who despise it. I’d say I fall somewhere in the middle, but I’d put myself in the second group more often than the first. My own preference is to go ahead a few weeks in order to avoid the confusing phase.
When it comes to first dates, there is one thing we can all agree on: how to get a confirmation without appearing needy.
The way you say things.
Your choice of words will determine whether or not you come out as desperate or just curious. Obviously, we’re looking for a feeling of astonishment here. To be sure, I’d always ask for a message or text to confirm a date. Don’t bother to inquire. Because of the embarrassment, people can feel coerced into agreeing even if they don’t want to, and that would be a bad thing. To avoid seeming negative, I believe that messages are the most effective way to communicate. Avoid comments like “if you don’t want to, I understand” and other such negative statements. In many ways, this is just as urgent as “please come”!
“Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to meet up,” or anything like that. Then sit tight and see what they have to say. Don’t commit to a meeting time, date, or location until you’re sure it’ll happen. By offering them an ‘exit,’ you don’t give the impression that you’re faking it. Move on if the person doesn’t respond. Taking the hint if they respond with something that sounds like they’re trying to sabotage you is the best course of action.
But if they respond with a good response, simply say, “Great. Thank you.” Sunday sounds good to you? Anytime after 6 p.m. is fine with me.” Having a packed schedule before 6 p.m. suggests that you have a lot on your plate, but it doesn’t determine where or when you need to be. Don’t do anything else. Don’t say “It’s lovely to see you!” before the date!
This is all about the right timing.
The timing is the next factor. It’s not enough to just say what you want to say; you need to say it at the proper time.
Remember that people have busy schedules, so don’t expect them to be available for a date that night or even the next day. Send your SMS at least three or four days in advance so that your receiver has time to consider alternative plans they may have. You’ll appear busy and unable to drop everything if you do this.
Second, refrain from texting too early in the morning or too late at night, as these are bad times to receive texts. Because it implies that they were the first person you thought of when you got up, it appears to be overly eager. Keep that for later, when the relationship has solidified.
Another sign that you’re thinking about them for the wrong reasons is if you text at night. Regardless of the time of day, try to send your text around mid-afternoon.
It only takes one strike to be out of the game.
Keep to the “one strike, and you’re out” guideline while you’re learning to confirm a date without seeming frantic. As a general rule, you only need to tell them once about the date. A response is fantastic; otherwise, don’t waste your time sending another SMS and move on to the next person.
If you’re attempting to subtly remind them of the date you were going to have, don’t send a cheerful text about something else totally. I understand exactly what you’re thinking! If you keep texting them, you’re demonstrating your desperation. Don’t bother asking them again after that. Do you really want to go on a date with this person if they aren’t responding to your messages? Replying with a simple “no, thank you” is preferable to utterly ignoring someone—people’s manners. You won’t go wrong if you always give high marks to good manners!
If you follow the three principles I’ve laid down, you won’t have a problem confirming a date without appearing needy.