Navigating a relationship can be tricky when dating someone who has faced betrayal or heartache in their past. So, if you’re looking for advice on how to date someone who has trust issues, these steps will guide you to approach the situation sensitively. Just remember, it’s not about avoiding such a person; instead, it’s about learning to handle their trust concerns effectively.
Not everyone is quick to trust someone else. Anyone who has been hurt before will find this hard. Problems can arise in a relationship with someone who has this issue. Jealousy and paranoia are only two of the negative outcomes. I know, it’s not a pretty thought to entertain. Dating someone who has trust difficulties can be challenging but rewarding if you know what you’re doing.
It won’t be easy, and coming from someone who has trust difficulties, I can tell you that right now. If you’re not into long-term commitments that need effort, talk, and patience, then it’s best to let this individual know right away. If you don’t, they’ll only feel validated in their trust issues and keep fighting.
Dating Someone Who Has Trust Issues: What to Do?
If you want to know how to date someone who has trust difficulties and learn to accept them, this is the area for you.
You can have a wonderful relationship with someone with trust issues if you follow some advice and show patience.
1. Seek their input on the matter.
Don’t be reluctant to revisit the past. What makes you both unique is the sum of your life experiences. Telling a former partner what transpired is not a warning sign. Ask them what happened if you know they have trouble trusting you.
This will not only help you comprehend their perspective but may also comfort them and strengthen your bond with them. They will become even more distant if you don’t reveal the events that have shaken their trust in you.
2. Realize that their emotions are legitimate.
When one spouse has trust issues, it can be challenging to be someone who does not. Even though you want to comfort them, you may think they hold you responsible for what their ex did. It’s possible they still have feelings for their ex.
However, you must realize they are done with the individual, not the circumstance. When your trust is broken, the pain doesn’t go away just because you stop caring about the person. Trust concerns are a defense mechanism against more pain.
It’s not that they don’t trust you, but they need reassurance that how they feel is reasonable and that they should be safeguarded.
3. Try to see things from their perspective.
It’s important not to compare yourself to someone who has trust issues or to dismiss them out of hand. By doing so, you are placing blame for their less-than-ideal connection on them.
Instead of taking a stance, try empathizing with them. Just picture yourself in their situation. Could you keep that apart from your potential new romance? Do you not care if you get hurt?
4. Do not attempt to persuade them otherwise.
If someone you know has trust issues, don’t try to solve them. How to date someone with trust concerns starts with accepting them as they are.
You can’t expect them to overcome their problems without taking action. Because of your trust concerns, you can’t consider them to be close to ideal. And you have to take them with all their faults and quirks at face value. Only in this way can you gain their confidence. Without your unconditional acceptance of them, they will never be able to trust you.
5. Recognize that actions speak more than words.
Saying you love someone with trust difficulties and that you won’t leave them is easy, but words aren’t enough for them. Whoever betrayed their trust presumably first said something along these lines.
Even though it may feel good to tell them they can trust you, showing them that they can is much more effective.
6. Do not hide anything from anyone.
If your significant other has trust issues, I’m not suggesting you should give them access to your passwords and phone bill, but you shouldn’t hide things from them merely to avoid an argument.
An individual who struggles with trust is continually on edge. Their confidence will be shattered if they learn you lied about something insignificant to avoid an argument. Even if being truthful means having unpleasant conversations, having them find out the truth through a third party is preferable.
7. Give them a safe space where they can share their concerns without fear of reprisal.
This is probably the number one issue couples encounter when one of them has trust issues. You might get defensive if someone challenges your loyalty.
However, if you and your spouse both know that one of you has trust issues, you can take comfort in knowing that their worries and misgivings aren’t based on anything you’ve done. The more you validate and listen to their worries instead of attacking them, the less they will bother you.
8. Inquire as to what it is they require of you.
When trust is destroyed, everyone reacts differently. Time is all that some people require, while others may want assurance or evidence. Inquire as to what it is your partner requires of you.
Simply by asking, you’re demonstrating your eagerness for this to succeed and your willingness to go to any lengths necessary to make it so.
9. Have faith.
When dating someone with trust issues, getting down on yourself is easy. They might ask you certain questions. However, you should behave as you would in any other kind of relationship.
If you’ll be late for a date, don’t make them nervous by worrying about it. There won’t be a moment to celebrate when they believe you without evidence; it will happen gradually. Do not assume they will always have trouble trusting you; count on them learning how to trust you.
10. Be patient.
Patience is required for all of this. A simple sentence or romantic gesture won’t be enough to change someone’s past or earn their trust in you. Time is needed to build trust. Dating someone who has trust difficulties requires you to face your own.
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