How to Find the Love You Deserve and Take Control of Your Relationships
Feeling lost in your love life, whether you’re single or not, is no way to live. It’s never a pleasant feeling to feel like you have no control over your love life. You may learn how to take charge of your love life whether you are looking for your soul mate or struggling in a relationship.
Someone once claimed that everyone has exactly the love life they desire. Although I believe that is an overly broad generalization that ignores mental illness, self-awareness, and violent relationships, it is somewhat correct.
You have complete control over your life. You cannot compel someone to date you. You can’t make yourself a happily ever after, and you can’t change the person you’re with. You do, however, have the ability to take charge of your love life.
What is out of your control in your romantic life?
Work out what you need to control before you can reclaim your power in your relationships with others or with yourself. What aspects of your romantic life are you dissatisfied with? What do you believe is beyond your control?
Do you think you’ll never meet the proper person? Is your connection tense rather than relaxing? Do you find it difficult to maintain a connection with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself?
What prompted you to look for this article? What do you want to be in charge of?
It was dating for me. I felt like I was always meeting bad guys. Every guy I encountered was rude, pushy, or unnoticed. I wondered whether these were the only types of men left.
Of course, I wondered what was wrong with me, but nothing came to mind. So I put my best foot forward while attempting not to be resentful of my history. I tried everything and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, but I couldn’t seem to get out of this rut.
What could I do? What could I do? Why would I stop dating if I had never met anyone like this before?
So I resolved to reclaim control of my love life. Instead of using horrible guys as an explanation for why I was single, I changed my perspective on dating. It took some time for me to break out of this pattern, but I was eventually able to go into dating without any preconceived preconceptions and met my boyfriend for over a year.
I realized that if I had the love life I want, I had to accept responsibility and take action. I couldn’t wait to see my prince charming and have him mend my broken heart. Instead, I did it myself.
Finding and addressing problems can help you take control of your love life, whether you are single and want to spice up your love life or are in a relationship that seems to have its own mind.
How to regain control of your romantic life
It’s not as straightforward as following cake-making directions to learn how to take charge of your love life. It needs stamina, practice, and dexterity.
I didn’t discover my boyfriend because I abruptly altered my thinking. It took some time to change the way I felt about dating. I have to be prepared for things not to go as planned. I needed to take charge of my present in order to achieve the future I desired.
And you can do it as well.
1. Stop succumbing to old habits. When you’ve been dating for a time, it’s easy to become complacent. It is easy to enter into a routine, even if you meet new people for the first time. Your first date could take place in the same location, and the two of you may relive comparable experiences. Change things up if you want to learn how to take control of your love life and are fed up with the current state of affairs.
On dates, try out new activities. Instead of pulling at your anecdotes, give in to the discourse. If you’re in a long-term relationship, you don’t have to keep reacting the same way. Be honest with each other; this is your responsibility.
2. Think about why you feel out of control. Taking control of your love life is a sign that something is beyond your control. Is it your spouse? Is it a lack of a partner? Do you have the impression that you are meeting the wrong people?
If you are dissatisfied with your situation, consider not only what is causing you to be dissatisfied but also why. What’s wrong with your social circle? Is there an other dating app that you could be interested in? Are you reverting to your “type”? Are you used to being in a half-and-half relationship, so you resort to it rather than being completely vulnerable?
Work on it once you’ve figured out why you feel like you don’t have control.
3. Recognize your own worth. Even if you are self-assured, underlying self-esteem issues may be holding you back. It’s not only bad luck when you date someone that isn’t right for you. When you fall in love with someone who isn’t the right person for you, it’s because you believe that’s what you deserve.
So many people ask me why someone keeps contacting them after ghosting, and my answer is always the same: because you let them. You communicate with them and give them a chance despite the fact that they have revealed their true colors. Is it because you’re feeling lonely? Is it because you expect things to be different this time?
When you recognize you deserve better than being someone’s second or last consideration, you’ll let go of the individuals who aren’t treating you well and seek out the excellent ones.
4. Make time to do the things you want to do. Concentrate on what you enjoy. Don’t go on dates because you think you’re wasting your time if you don’t. If you’d rather spend your time at home with your buddies baking, go ahead and do so.
Your single time is only squandered if you aren’t making the most of it. Participate in activities that interest you. I’m not suggesting that you stop dating and wait for the right person to show up at your door, but making finding the ideal person your primary aim neglects the rest of your life.
5. Accept any and all outcomes. This was the most difficult aspect of regaining control of my love life for me. I used to get so worked up about dates because I expected them to work out. I was overthinking, so I canceled dates that I didn’t think would go anywhere.
Instead, I went into dates believing that the only acceptable conclusion was a relationship. I felt so much better about going on dates after I was able to have hope while also letting go of my expectations. As long as I wasn’t already in love with the person I was meeting, all I had to do was be open to whatever came my way.
I was able to approach dating with a lot more optimism after I recognized that date may lead to a relationship, a second date, or nothing at all.
6. Allow yourself to let go of the past. If you want to learn how to take control of your love life, keep in mind that your past teaches you many lessons, but allowing it to control you implies you aren’t controlling yourself. You may detect red flags more easily, know what you want and don’t want, and be more cautious.
These are all excellent things, but when you let prior trust difficulties dictate your present, you aren’t learning anything but dragging your past with you into the future. This prevents you from seeing all possible possibilities and being fully vulnerable.
7. Stop making predictions about the future. In the same way that you should not be controlled by your past, you should not be controlled by your future. Of course, you have plans and ideas for the future, but if you let them take precedence over living in the now, it will pass you by before you know it.
Appreciating the moments is the key to learning how to take charge of your love life. Each date should be enjoyed. Stop aiming to marry by a given age. Stop imposing your standards on others. This can make you feel in command, but it blinds you to what is going on right now.
8. Stop wasting time. Never waste time anticipating something that may never arrive. Waiting takes authority away from you, whether your partner makes empty promises or that guy you met once doesn’t text back.
If you want a specific love life, you won’t get it by waiting. Waiting for someone to call, inquire, or text you simply makes you feel helpless and hurt. You can make your own movie if you quit waiting for others to do so.
9. Stop responding before you consider. If you’re in an angry or tense relationship, it’s simple to blame your partner. We blame ourselves because they chose to fight, criticize, or withdraw from the partnership. I’m not saying you should blame yourself, but instead of reacting to their behavior as if you have no option, consider your own.
Are you ignoring them if they ignore you? Do you lash out and yell when they criticize you? Is your behavior something you would accept from someone else? Blaming people for your reactions makes you feel powerless when, in fact, you have control over your actions.
Instead of becoming stuck in a stale argument, attempt a new method that will genuinely address the problem.
10. Believe in yourself. Trust your instincts. When you lose faith in yourself, you place your faith in others. This inhibits you from making your own decisions and acting on your desires. You want everything to feel right.
Don’t give in if a spouse or date tells you you’re crazy, overthinking, or even paranoid when your sentiments are real.
When I started dating, I was wary of meeting strangers online. I made a point of getting their full name and giving it and their phone number to a number of people I trusted and who I always met in public. I had several males tell me I was insane or worried because I didn’t want them to know where I lived.
And I was aware that I was being unnecessarily careful, but it made me feel protected. The majority of guys didn’t get it and insisted on picking me up for a date. Instead of succumbing to their pressure, I refused to go out with them. I went with my gut instincts.
I told my partner the same thing when we first met. At first, I wanted to meet in public since you never know what can happen. Instead of deceiving me, he respected my wishes. Putting my faith in myself was the best thing I could have done.
If you want to transform your love life, start by making a few little changes that will lead you in the right direction. You may learn how to take control of your love life and feel free to do whatever you want by using these tactics. Most importantly, you’ll be happier!