Dates are terrifying; it’s just a fact of life. But if you can learn to be more playful and flirtatious, you just might be setting up date number two. In this article, learn how you can have more fun flirting with the new people you meet.
Unless you’ve gone on more dates than you can count, the prospect of an actual first date probably fills you with dread. To be able to date without feeling awkward or nervous is a goal you have always wanted to achieve.
You get nervous, you act like a different person, and you spend hours preparing what to say on the date, only to forget everything once you’re actually there. Just look at it; it’s horrible! From time to time, I have to pause and wonder why we put ourselves through this. Yet most of us put ourselves “out there” and worry for hours beforehand because we’re looking for a lifelong companion.
Is it possible that you’ve been misrepresenting dates?
Do you think of them as a form of interview? Perhaps a horrifying illustration of the dark side of social media. If that’s the case, you need to change your perspective and study the art of flirting and play. You can get instant calm if you do it. The date could end up being fun for you, for all you know.
What are the benefits of training oneself to be more carefree and flirtatious?
Being one’s authentic self is facilitated by a state of calm and playfulness. The whole goal of dating is to let your true colors shine. Pretending to be someone you’re not will get you nowhere, especially since you’ll have to keep up the act for a very long time if this dating thing goes anywhere. That’s a lot of work, and no one has the energy to put it in.
Learning to express your playful and flirtatious side is, then, a matter of simply being yourself. Nobody would be able to resist your inherent attractiveness if that were the case.
The other point is that letting your guard down and having some fun will have a positive effect on the other person. This calms the dater down, making the experience feel more like going out with a friend than going on a job interview.
If you want to become more playful and flirtatious but don’t want to change who you are, how can you do that?
This is far simpler than you may imagine.
Take a moment to consider your social interactions.
You are most likely to be yourself—free of inhibitions, joyful, and full of humor and playfulness—when you are in the company of your friends. That’s the kind of person your date wants to see.
So, just act like your date is a close buddy of yours. Try to hold back on the chit-chat and specific topics you would typically discuss, but otherwise act as you would normally, letting your guard down and enjoying their company to the fullest.
Resolve to always act authentically.
Though it may appear to be the simplest of issues, this is actually quite complex. Be genuine. When you pretend to be someone else, how can you be sure that when they tell you they like you, they mean YOU?
It’s preferable to be rejected for being genuine than accepted in a false persona. I’m not trying to downplay the anguish that they must be feeling, but it is ultimately their loss, right? Be genuine and carefree. Put in some time working and then jump right in. Practicing will undoubtedly make it easier, and you know what? The more joyful you’ll feel as a result.
Ease up on yourself.
It’s all in your head. You need to put yourself in the correct circumstances if you want to learn how to be more playful and flirtatious. Forget about your problems and take it easy for a change.
Don’t think of it as a date, but rather as a casual conversation with someone new. If they like you, that’s great, but if they don’t, that’s fine, too. Keep in mind that it’s not all about you trying to make a good impression on the other person; you’re also trying to figure out if you like them.
Never even try to play safe.
Playing it safe is the worst thing you can do when trying to improve your flirting and playfulness skills. The very nature of being playful makes it so. If you practice too much, you risk sounding and feeling unnatural. Similarly to flirting, it’s best if things just happen organically between you.
You’ll come across as wooden and distracted rather than flirtatious and fun if you try to remember a million things you should do to come across as sexy to another person. Simply let yourself go and live in the moment.
You must learn to differentiate between being playful and being seductive.
Even if we’re discussing ways to flirt and have fun with others, that doesn’t mean you’re trying to seduce them. In many contexts, flirtatious playfulness is harmless, but seductive behavior is not.
Here, the goal of your flirtation is only to convey the impression that you’re a carefree and jovial person with an undercurrent of naughtiness. You aren’t trying to make them think of you as a sexual creature in any meaningful sense. Of course you are, but we can discuss that some other time.
There’s no need for detailed advice on how to become more playful and flirtatious. The key is to let your guard down and be your own self.