Isn’t it healthy to have healthy self-esteem? When someone tells you, “If you want someone to love you, you have to love yourself,” There are so many times when I wish I had a dollar for every time. The difficulty is that you can never have too much love for yourself if you wish to love someone else. Narcissists are people who are so fascinated with themselves that they are unable to perceive anything outside their own interests or point of view.
According to Greek mythology, Narcissus ended up falling in love with his reflection because he was narcissistic. Merriam-Webster defines a narcissist as “overly self-involved, and often conceited and selfish.” An entire mental condition has been coined to describe the symptoms of someone who can’t seem to concentrate on anything but their own thoughts and feelings.
You can’t love a narcissist since he or she isn’t able to love you. Their selfishness isn’t an excuse but rather an inability to do so. That creates a highly one-sided and problematic relationship.
How to identify narcissistic features
If you know what to look for in a narcissist, it’s easy to spot them. When dealing with others, they might be stiff and unpleasant. Calling others names and making them look tiny is the only way they can feel significant. Other frequent narcissistic tendencies include the following.
1. Being unable to feel another person’s pain. Empathy is a social trait that those who are narcissistic lack. When you are empathetic, you are able to see things from the viewpoint of another person. A narcissist has no idea what it is to “walk a day in someone else’s shoes,” as the old expression goes. They are unable to see the world through the eyes of someone else, and no amount of explanation or emotional outpouring will change that.
2. They are tyrants. Bullying is a common trait in narcissists. Anyone who doesn’t treat them with respect rapidly irritates them, causing them to respond defensively in order to protect themselves. The narcissist is prone to cruelty. As a result, they are unable to reason in a manner consistent with the rest of us. Because they lack empathy, they are often unable to “feel” rationally.
As a result, your remarks are misunderstood, and only the individual words are heard. Instead of focusing on what you’re saying, they focus on the words you use. Because they are unable to empathize with others, they will say and do harsh and abusive things.
3. They contradict themselves. Narcissists are known for their inability to see the forest through the trees. They’ll say anything to get what they want, if it means being right and admired all the time. After a few minutes of speaking, they will often backtrack and change their positions to appear more virtuous, intelligent, and morally superior to others.
4. They lack an understanding of morality. The narcissist is not governed by conscience or acceptance because he lacks a sense of right and wrong. There is no other stimulus that has any effect on narcissists other than the threat of bodily harm. There is no concern for how you feel about the person if they are able to maintain power over you. As a result of their lack of concern about rejection, they have no qualms about inflicting harm on others or treating those around them unfairly.
5. Competitive and envious. It is common for the narcissist to be envious or competitive. Everyone else has it, so they want it, too. They’re no longer interested in it once they get it. They are not only jealous of others, but they also enjoy it when others are envious of their possessions. In order to satisfy their competitive nature, narcissists will compete for just about anything. They are prone to over-ambitiousness in both their personal and professional relationships because they want it all.
6. Not Engaging. Unless stung, they are harmless. He or she will not get involved in a conflict or a discussion with another person. If you say something that makes them doubt their own self-perfection, they’ll be ready to lash out. They have no regard for anyone else.
7. They’re entitled to everything. The narcissist has a sense of entitlement, believing that they are entitled to goods even if they have done nothing to merit them. They also have lofty ideals about how life ought to be. People who have this mindset often engage in “get rich quick” schemes and other activities that don’t necessitate many initiatives on their part.
8. Their demeanor is sour and gloomy. It is common for narcissists to be unhappy and pessimistic because nothing is good enough for them. They don’t often have a sense of humor, but when they want something from you, they may be charming and charismatic. Due to a belief that they are the only ones who can determine what is right, these people may be harsh and overbearing.
The dangers of falling in love with a narcissist
There are numerous articles regarding narcissistic personalities that make it sound like narcissists are out to harm others or that they deliberately select harm for their own benefit. This is not the case. Most of them are the result of their childhood and the way their parents treated them, according to scientific evidence. In some cases, the perpetrators themselves are innocent bystanders who aren’t out to harm anyone. To play on an emotionally level playing field, they lack the vital social ability of empathy.
Even the most self-assured person might experience hopelessness and depression when in a relationship with a narcissist. A circumstance where one person gives of themselves all the time is created when one is always striving to reach out to another and make them reach back. Because of this, the partner of a narcissist is left feeling inadequate or lacking in some way. If you don’t realize that narcissism makes it impossible to love someone back, you may begin to believe that you are doing something wrong or that it is your fault.
The reason why they don’t seem to care about me is unclear.
At first glance, it’s hard to tell a narcissist from other people. In the beginning of a romantic connection, they will do all in their power to make you fall in love with them. But as soon as they’ve got you, they’re cold and no longer interested in you. Trying to get close to them will just make things worse. An endless chase ensues as a result of this. The person who is in love with a narcissist feels alone and embarrassed as a result of this.
It’s difficult to love a narcissist. Depending on your personality type, it may have a detrimental impact on your sense of self-worth. It’s difficult to build a relationship with someone who seems to care about you one minute and not the next. That leaves most people feeling alienated from the person they care about the most.
Internalizing their behavior is one of the most difficult aspects of loving a narcissist. Watching them treat everyone else with charm and charisma might make you feel unattractive and unwanted. Their type of personality always seeks the affection of others around them. Narcissists may make even the most confident and self-assured people lose their minds attempting to make the relationship something it isn’t.
There’s a reason it’s difficult to break up with a narcissist.
Narcissists are extremely difficult to break up with or move on from, which is the worst element of a narcissistic relationship. When you’ve had enough, they turn on the charm and promise you that they will change—and they do. Sadly, it’s not uncommon for it to quickly fade away. Their previous behaviors will return as soon as they get you back, and they are trying their hardest to please them.
Because they’re masters of persuasion, they’ll use any methods necessary to achieve their goals. Narcissism is characterized by a series of behaviors that most narcissists are likely unaware of: they do things that benefit them solely, without remorse or guilt.
To avoid a narcissist, the best thing to do is to proceed cautiously. There will be subtle indicators as they seduce you to get closer to you at the beginning of the relationship. You should probably dismiss anything that raises an emotional red flag. Don’t. As time goes on, the little things that pain you now become even more inconvenient.
People in relationships with narcissists tend to believe that they can alter them. When it comes to relationships, the most important thing we can learn is that we can’t change the people we love. We must either learn to accept them or spend a lifetime pursuing a goal that is unachievable.
When it comes to true love, narcissism will never give up their own self-worth for you. Because ending a relationship with a narcissist is analogous to quitting smoking, it’s preferable not to become engaged in the first place. You’ll always miss them, even after you’ve tried multiple times to get over them.
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