Nobody craves for a lover who acts like an overbearing guardian, always seizing control. It’s time to unveil the method, how to love better without being possessive in a relationship, which will guide you to relax and relinquish your clinginess in your relationships.
Having trust or control difficulties is likely to blame if you’re asking how to avoid being possessive in a relationship. They both poison the connection. They are the root of a lot of dishonesty, dysfunction, and manipulation.
We get that you want to keep that special someone close forever. You need to keep them from betraying you or disappearing. For safety reasons, you need to be aware of their activities. The issue is it’s a surefire recipe for failure. A relationship is doomed to fail if neither person can trust the other’s judgment, which breeds feelings of jealousy, suspicion, and anger.
In A Relationship, What Exactly Is Possessiveness?
It’s possible to be ambivalent about whether or not your present behavior constitutes possessiveness. It is crucial to know what constitutes possessiveness and how it plays out in romantic relationships.
As we’ve established, possessiveness manifests itself when one spouse desperately clings to another. Your actions may become problematic as a result. It’s possible that you don’t want them to spend time away from you or with their pals. When they’re not paying attention to you, you may experience feelings of jealousy or anger. You’re also likely curious about every aspect of their existence.
You worry that they will abandon you or that they will reject you for whatever reason. Perhaps you think they’ll stick around if you try to keep them under your thumb and micromanage their every move. They are more prone to depart, to tell the truth.
Why Are You Being So Possessive?
It may take years of counseling to figure out why you’re so possessive. It may also need a lot of introspection and planning.
Think about your past experiences. It could be a former spouse or a member of your own family. What transpired that caused you to feel helpless? That’s what drove you into a place of possessiveness—that hurt or loss. When you’ve been harmed, your whole being goes into protective mode, and you do anything you can to regain power.
Some people may achieve this by keeping their feelings to themselves. Others long for such a company but cannot deal with the portions of relationships beyond their control, such as their spouses.
You are probably one of these folks if you are reading this. We totally get it. Maybe you didn’t mean to end up here. You’re here because you value your relationship and want to provide your spouse the courtesy and reliability they deserve.
That’s a promising indicator. Your course of action is commendable. Getting over this habit’s triggers will free you from going on without clinging to control.
Just remind yourself that there is no formula for a successful relationship. These are not the old times any longer; everything has changed. And if a situation keeps happening again, it’s not because it was accidental.
How To Overcome Possessiveness in A Relationship?
You can’t just turn off all of your brain’s self-defense training in one fell swoop. Simply wanting to quit this behavior won’t work. You and your partner must work to enhance communication and understanding.
1. Do your own thing.
You must develop trust in yourself before you can trust another person. If you have trouble trusting others and need to feel in charge, you probably have trouble relying on your own good judgment.
There’s a reason you’re with this person, and you need to accept that. Accept their conditions for being with you.
2. Understand the importance of open conversation.
The easiest approach to begin establishing trust is through communication. Share your feelings with your partner and take the time to listen to them. It’s crucial to be open about your wants and needs and for your partner to respond accordingly.
3. Make some boundaries.
Having a conversation about what is too far for your spouse can help you figure out what is and isn’t acceptable in your relationship. Should you be in touch with each other multiple times a day, even when you’re apart?
Find a compromise that works for both of you, if possible. You might try to meet halfway, make concessions, and deepen your relationship as trust grows.
4. Express your emotions.
You can relieve some of the stress or anger you’ve been holding in by talking to your partner about it. They’ll get it once they realize how you feel. Feelings of relief will wash over you.
5. Participate in group activities.
Get together with your pals and other couples instead of hanging out alone. This way, you can spend time together without feeling smothered. You can learn more about each other’s social circles by becoming acquainted with their mutual pals.
6. Make your needs known.
Your partner may be sick of you exerting authority over them, and rightfully so. Getting people to work with you will be easier if you lay out the steps you need them to take to give up control.
To overcome your possessive feelings, you and your partner should first find a way to spend more time together.
7. Do your own thing.
Sometimes it’s difficult to let go of possessiveness in a relationship because it’s become so central to who you are. Even if you have other commitments, including family and career, it might be challenging to let go of the connection if it dominates your life.
Get together with your pals. Participate in different activities or take on additional tasks at work. You can have a healthy relationship if each person is self-sufficient and doesn’t need the other person to feel complete.
You can overcome your possessive tendencies in a romantic relationship with time, effort, and a willing partner. You can get there by attempting a couple of these measures and working your way up.
Meaningful articles you might like: How to Establish Relationship Boundaries for a Happy and Healthy Love, How to Stop Being Codependent and Return to a Healthy Relationship, How to Stop Repeating the Same Relationship Mistakes