People who want long-term relationships find the hookup culture to be a pain in the rear. If that’s you, here’s how you can stay alive in the hookup culture!
With the abundance of various dating websites and apps like Tinder, more and more people are hooking up instead of going on “real dates.” If you’re looking for something less serious, hooking up might be a good option for you.
Hooking up vs. Dating
How do you “hook up”? In fact, it has made dating seem so old-fashioned and even pointless at times. Most of the time, hooking up means getting into a kind of relationship with someone without making a real commitment to each other.
When people “hook up,” they have sexual relationships without having any emotional ties to each other. When you do get together with someone, you’re pretty much good to go. Except for the occasional romp between the sheets, you shouldn’t expect to be a part of your partner’s everyday life. You won’t meet the friends or family of your hookup. At the end of the day, this is something you both agreed to.
Most hookups would rather talk to each other all the time through texting or other messaging apps. Why? Because it saves money and is very easy to use. It also leads to the occasional “booty call.” When you were dating, people would sometimes call you. You want to hear their voice on the other end of the phone line. You’d want to know what they did all day. You’d want to hear them laugh once more.
It can be hard to understand the hook-up culture because you can only see your hook-up at certain times. This could happen every month or every other month. Again, everything would depend on what you both agreed to. After all, hooking up gives you time to hang out with other people. Those who want to go into these waters must be ready to cross some rough waves.
Why can’t everyone just hook up?
People often get into hookups without really knowing what they’re getting into. It’s like jumping into water you don’t know, where the only way to stay alive is to sink or swim. The pressure is too much for most people to handle. Some of them would fall in love with the person they were hooking up with.
You should always keep in mind that relationships should be a two-way street. It’s just too hard on the heart to be the only one keeping the relationship together. In fact, this is why many hook-ups don’t work out. A few months into a relationship with no strings attached, someone is bound to get hurt. This could turn into an emotional and mental nightmare for a lot of people.
If you’re not sure how to get through this generational dating phase, here’s a guide on how to avoid getting your heart broken by someone who’s just looking to hook up.
#1: Be sure you know what you’re getting into.
Sun Tzu, a great military strategist, once said, “If you know your enemies and know yourself, you won’t be in danger in a hundred battles. If you don’t know your enemies but you know yourself, you will win one and lose one. If you don’t know your enemies or yourself, you’ll be in danger in every battle.” It’s stupid to go into battle without being ready. It’s suicide to jump into water you don’t know.
It is social suicide to go into the hook-up culture without being ready emotionally. You should keep in mind that when you go on a hook-up, you are only looking for a casual relationship and nothing more. Hooking up is a “no strings attached” kind of thing, so don’t expect to make a promise or feel emotionally attached.
#2: Know when to step up and lead.
If you think the hook-up culture would work for you, there’s no reason not to do it. If you like someone, you should go up to them first. In the hook-up culture, it all comes down to being clear about what you want.
#3: Talk about it honestly and openly.
Once you’re in a relationship, it’s important to remember that honesty is key, even when you’re hooking up. Your partner can’t read your mind, so make it clear what you want. If possible, set all your ground rules on paper. If you want to be exclusive, be sure to tell your partner so that you don’t have any problems in the future.
#4 Be responsible.
Casual hookups are mostly about getting sexual with each other. Since most hookups aren’t long-term relationships, it’s always a good idea to do safe sex. STDs and unintended pregnancies are still very real, and no one wants to deal with something like that, especially in a casual relationship with no strings attached. Taking responsibility is always a sign of maturity and should always be done.
#5: Don’t let things get to you.
Let’s face it, all hook-ups end at some point. Sometimes, people just can’t handle the pressure, or one of you suddenly wants something more serious with someone else. No matter why, you will find that your partner will leave your life as quickly as they entered it.
When this happens, it’s best not to let it bother you too much. People will leave at some point. It has to happen. Don’t even try to stalk them on social media and don’t text them when you’re drunk. In the hook-up culture, you need to be able to keep your emotions in check, which can help when your partner suddenly dumps you.
#6: Be able to laugh at yourself.
Hook-ups are supposed to be fun and easygoing. You don’t have to take everything so seriously when you’re with each other. Treat the whole thing with a sense of humor. Even in bed, keep things light and fun.
#7: Know when to go.
There are times when the hook-up just leaves you hanging. Sometimes, there is no clear answer. You have every right to leave a relationship if you don’t think it’s worth your time. If you feel like this is hurting you more than helping you, it’s best to stop torturing yourself rather than keep doing it.
Remember that hookups are meant to be a fun way to get into a casual relationship, but if you feel more emotionally burdened, you should learn to accept that this is not for you. Be sure to leave with honor.
#8: Try to see the good side of things.
The world is a never-ending sea of jerks and a-holes, and you will get hurt in some way or another. You might start to care about the person you are hooking up with, but he or she might not care about you the same way.
Even so, remember that your happiness is important. Be optimistic and try to see every relationship, whether it worked out or not, as a chance to learn something. It does take a bad relationship to make you appreciate the good ones.
These days, hooking up is so common that it makes dating seem like a myth. So much has been said about social media that reality shows are being made that are all about how great it is. But hooking up is not bad in any way, and you need to remember that.
Know who you are before you hook up. If you want long-term relationships, you should probably stay away from the complicated world of hookups. After all, a lot of people have tried and failed, and it’s not an easy path to take.
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