Do you feel like you’re being used sexually or monetarily in this relationship? Learn if your one true love is a user who will only stay with you for as long as you keep feeding them.
People who take advantage of your kindness because they know you have something they want will always be in your life. It may take the form of access to exclusive events and services, solid business contacts, or even just a sympathetic ear when times are difficult.
This type of person is problematic because of their ability to be deceptively subtle. In most cases, you won’t realize you’re being used until after you’ve given everything you have. Know what’s worse than knowing a user? Confessing your love for a drug addict!
Some addicts may exploit you for sexual or financial gain. People rely on you for favors, social standing, and anything else boosts their ego. However, the most typical forms of relationship users are those that use you financially or sexually.
Check out these signs to see if your current beau fits the bill.
Warnings that your partner is using you sexually. Don’t confuse sexual ardor with romantic ardor. Even though love seems to be all you see, your partner’s eyes may actually be clouded by lust.
1. One of your users wants to meet up with you at odd times.
Maybe the person you’ve been seeing or hooking up with has weird hours at work or is a natural night owl. However, you will get to ponder what it is that you two can do at 2 in the morning on a weekday. It’s impossible to see a movie, fine dining establishments are closed, and your only social options consist of similarly inebriated people.
2. A user has no interest in leaving their house or motel.
If your significant other says no when you ask to go to the movies together, it’s time to start looking elsewhere. However, it is still not the case. When you get off work, how about we grab a cup of coffee? Perhaps, but will you be returning to my house for the night? It’s likely that by the end of each speed dating session, you’ll have reached third base.
3. There is a lack of consistency in a user’s contact.
The previous tip described how all of your dates had resulted in a nookie or its equivalent. Besides the phrase “let’s play it by ear,” this is perhaps the most constant response you’ll get from this person. Everything else, including calls, texts, and hangout requests, will be infrequent.
One week you’ll be inseparable, and the next, you won’t even be able to send each other a Facebook message. The user will make another attempt to regain your favor just as you begin to pull away, whether that be through flattery, bribery, or a return to the bedroom.
4. In fact, the user’s acquaintances will never meet you.
Meeting your significant other’s pals for the first time might be a nerve-wracking experience. However, red flags should go up if you only get to speak with them for a maximum of ten minutes or if they have trouble remembering your name.
Indicates your relationship is exploiting you financially:
Do you feel that your finances have been getting worse since you started dating this person? If the one you like seems more concerned with your bank balance than your affection, check out these warning signals.
1. The first few dates are on the user, but they expect you to foot the bill for the rest of the 30.
Seemingly, this is a common tactic for users to guilt-trip you into footing the bill on future occasions. So that you’ll reciprocate their generosity, they’ll be overt about how much they’re shelling out for you.
2. The addict always has some tragic backstory for which only financial aid would do.
They’re broke because your new flame’s grandma, aunt, uncle, or second-cousin-once-removed took out a loan to pay for dental work. The following week, you learn that they require funds for an electrician, a doctor’s visit, an ultrasound, the replacement of a malfunctioning item, the veterinary care of a pet, and other unanticipated costs.
3. That money is the sole focus of your arguments is telling.
When you refuse to pay, the user throws a tantrum. Aside from the thing they want you to pay for, nothing else seems to like it will satisfy them. Eventually, you’ll realize that flashy jewelry, high-tech devices, or a car payment are a surefire way to end any quarrel. Yikes!
4. User is very egotistical about their belongings.
To us, it’s always a positive when you get to know your partner’s friends. You may find that the user is not praising your strengths and accomplishments, but rather your material possessions or your high income.
5. The consumer lacks the drive to do well monetarily.
Perhaps you were attracted to your partner because of their intelligence. Your significant other may have the educational background and professional skills necessary to thrive in their chosen area, but they lack the motivation to go out and make their own money. Having a genuine purpose in life is an amazing feeling. However, if you’re primarily valued for your physical and financial contributions, it could be a clue that you’re with the wrong person.
Do you see any of these warning signs in your current partnership? Put yourself on pause and try to meet someone who appreciates you for who you are rather than what you can provide them with.