How Was Your First Date And Why Honesty Is Important
There’s a reason why first dates have a terrible rap. They can be abysmal at times. How was your first date? First dates are the worst. Perhaps even the actual date itself can be an unpleasant experience. How was the date?
There is no doubt that you are meeting a new person. How often does it genuinely happen that sparks fly? There are only approximately 20% of first dates that lead to a second one. As a result, most first dates aren’t all that exciting.
However, in my experience, the initial dates have been quite enjoyable. “Wow! That went better than planned,” would be a common sentiment for me after a first date. That’s odd unless it’s because I’m conditioned to assume the worst on first dates. Is it possible that it was because the date was so great? I can assure you that it was not the second option.
What did you think of your first date?
How many times have you walked out on a first date thinking things went well? If you think back, you may realize how few times you actually believed a first date was good, but at the time, you probably thought it was.
Only a few of the many first dates I’ve had were truly awful from the get-go. It was amazing, and when I got back home, I told my best buddy how much I liked the individual. Whenever my date texted me to set up the next date, I eagerly awaited it.
As a general rule, most of these dates ended with my date saying that he and I should go on another one. He may have ghosted me after the first date, but looking back, those dates were not nearly as nice as I had first imagined.
When things didn’t work out, the things I had first neglected would resurface in my consciousness. Suddenly, I was able to see all the reasons why something wasn’t right.
I was able to recall a date that left me feeling positive. After he kissed me and called me by the wrong name, I left a date genuinely like him. That was obviously a red flag, but I originally ignored it.
Other than that, I found myself strongly disagreeing with his views on parenting, politics, and his relationship with his ex-girlfriend. Although I’m glad we didn’t go any further than the first date now, I was enamored right after that.
Think back on your first date objectively if you recently emerged from it with high hopes for the next one.
What were you discussing? What did your date say to you?? Did they leave any money on the table for the server? Is there any evidence that they were being harsh to their ex-partner or making fun of someone else? In the past, have there been comments made by your friend that you would have called out if they weren’t being polite or hopeful?
There were so many red signals that I missed, even as a person who had been bitter for most of her dating life. To my surprise, I chose to ignore the tiniest nuances rather than magnify them.
Is this anything you’ve noticed about yourself? I’m guessing you’ll be interested in it.
We put pressure on a first date to lead to more in the same way that someone stays in a poor relationship because it’s still a relationship or because they’re comfortable or afraid of trying again.
When it comes to first dates, why do we make them seem better than they really are?
The greatest method to avoid false hope and ignoring red flags in the future is to figure out why we do this in the first place so that we can avoid it in the future.
A list of my dealbreakers from these first dates would be easy for me to offer you if you asked me. However, when such issues came up during a date, I chose to ignore them or deal with them later. As much stress and anxiety as a first date might bring on, I wanted it to be meaningful. It was important to me that everything went smoothly and that it led to something more, although it may not be.
Because I had made an effort to meet them and overcome my anxiety, I would pretend to be excited, even though I knew they weren’t the right person for me.
When I went on my first online date, I was a bundle of nerves. For the first time in years, I was able to meet someone on the internet. Talked about everything for a long time while having coffee. As soon as the conversation finished, the guy said he would text me to set up a proper date.
Well, he never contacted me again. It got the best of me. My buddies were there for me when I needed to vent. Afterward, I perused his online profiles. And I was really sorry about it all, too. However, in retrospect, it was a somewhat dreary affair. Even though he wasn’t horrible, I wasn’t particularly into him. My first date went well, although there wasn’t much to talk about or a nice connection between us.
When he vanished, I was heartbroken. The reasons are numerous, and I’m sure they are for you as well.
First dates are nerve-wracking, and you hope they go well. You expect your efforts to be rewarded. Because you don’t want to feel like you spent your time or, worse, failed, you tell yourself that it’s better than it really is. In the event that the plan does not work out, you overreact because of the false hopes and expectations you had before. To be honest, you weren’t all that interested in the person, to begin with.
First dates come with a free pair of rose-colored glasses, even if you’re particular about who you date. You’re able to see the bad things in a positive way.
Your date says something unpleasant or unappealing, but you let it go for some reason, and then they say something sweet or humorous, and you forget about it.
Desperation might lead to sentiments of over-enthusiasm for someone we’re only starting to like. This may sound negative, but the want for a companion can outsmart the desire for the perfect spouse.
We can be more realistic with our expectations on the first dates if we are aware of this and act appropriately. If we don’t have a second date, we may move on more swiftly and enjoy the process.
I’m not saying that every bad date should be thrown out, but it’s a good idea to look at first dates for what they really are rather than what we’ve made them up to be instead.