Long Distance Relationship: 10 Myths
When discussing long-distance relationships, don’t expect the doom-mongers to be helpful or cheerful. The general assumption is that LDRs don’t work, but this is a consensus held by people who can’t see beyond their own little bubbles of life. The doom-mongers prophecies aren’t necessarily true, I’ll tell you.
This is the time to put a smile on your face.
As with anything in life, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the gloom and do nothing except dwell on the problems. This is true if you’re surrounded by people who want you to follow their lead. Instead of fighting this mentality, it’s helpful to flip it on its head and look at it from the other direction: from a negative to a positive.
Theravada Buddhist monk once gave a speech on this very subject in which he described being visited by two sisters, one unhappy with her husband and the other depressed about her single status. The monk, despite his desire to offer them the first remedy that sprang to mind (he was a monk, after all, with a sense of humor!), pointed out that, by exchanging their current problems for their desired ones, they would have the exact same outcome as the other sister.
That is, rather than dwelling on the disadvantages, he was instructing them to look for the positives in their current conditions so that they could be happy. The same is true for long-distance relationships as well.
On the other side of the coin is the truth regarding LDRs
It’s important to seek the positives in any component of the LDR that others commonly point out as a clue that it isn’t a good fit and to look for the drawbacks.
A list of ten examples of reverse perception follows to give you an understanding of what we’re talking about. Initially, the perceived negative is outlined before looking at how that negative might be converted into something more favorable to a happy, healthy partnership.
1. Snail Mail. It is one of the most common misconceptions regarding LDRs that communication is impossible. “Poppycock!” is all I can say. The LDR has never been as well-served by technology as it is today.
As long as you have email, social media, cheap international phone charges, and webcams at your disposal, you may interact with a loved one no matter where they are in the world. Snail-mail correspondence is a thing of the past.
2. Strangers in every way. Next on the list of ridiculous misconceptions about long-distance relationships is that you will never be able to get to know your spouse because of the distance you have between you. Quite the contrary, in fact. Having to communicate via long-distance means that you get to know them better than if you were meeting face-to-face.
It’s hard to figure out what’s behind this. Due to the larger significance placed on time in communication, you’ll be able to think through your words more thoroughly, and you won’t have to deal with sudden whirlpools of passion dominating the conversation with a fiery half-hour of grunting sensuality!
3. Doing your own thing. Pursuing your own interests and goals without regard to anyone or anything else. Doomsayers claim that a cross-border relationship would fail because you won’t be able to share your daily lives in the same manner that a regular couple does. However, it’s difficult to figure out exactly what they’re saying.
As a result of all the shared expenses, shopping, childcare, and other daily responsibilities, you wind up spending more money than in the actual world. A long-distance relationship allows you to keep your financial independence while yet being with someone.
4. We are on two very different planets. You could be, and the doom-mongers will tell you that you can’t have a successful relationship living that far apart. A couple of old proverbs, such as “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and “familiarity breeds disdain,” would be appropriate at this juncture.
5. Finished. Another common misconception about long-distance relationships (LDRs) is that you can’t establish meaningful connections with your spouse or partner in such situations. There is no way to get to know people’s friends, families, or other social groupings that constitute an important part of their identities.
Many people, on the other hand, may consider that a huge plus. That I won’t have to worry about routinely meeting my potential in-laws or spending time with the weirdos they refer to as friends is a huge perk for me.
6. The element of faith. Some nasty little tongues will tell you that you should worry about them seeing other people behind your back, and depending on your disposition, you may naturally worry about this from time to time. As long as there aren’t any major difficulties with distrust, you know your relationship is worth maintaining–and it will be even stronger because of it.
7. Flames of passion. A prevalent myth concerning long-distance relationships (LDRs) is that the couple’s desire will dwindle with time because of the lack of physical contact. However, this isn’t the case. There will be no dull moment when it comes to expressing your physical affection for your partner because time is of the essence.
8. The provision of assistance to others. Another issue stated by the pessimists is that you won’t be able to maintain a normal social life in an LDR. There is no doubt in my mind that they are correct. You’ll be able to maintain and enjoy the same group of pals you’ve always had, unlike all the couples who are constantly in each other’s pockets. This has been the case from the start, and it is likely to remain so. It’s a far better situation than abandoning everyone and then realizing later on that you no longer have a life of your own, which is a considerably worse outcome.
9. The value of money cannot be overstated. There are many who claim that living apart from each other is more expensive. Even if this is the case, your money will remain in your possession, and you will be able to monitor its whereabouts at all times.
10. It’s not inevitable. Even after being refuted on every issue, if they insist on debating, remind them it can and does work. People who have gone through a long-distance relationship and come out the other side better for it can be found with a five-minute Google search. Let’s be honest, lads and gals, life is all up to you.
Don’t be swayed by those who doubt you. Long-distance relationships can be just as fulfilling as any other if you follow the advice in the preceding paragraphs. It could even be better; who knows?