If you think it’s complicated to start an affair, try figuring out why it’s so difficult to put an end to one. The beginning of an affair is the simple part; the end is where things get tricky.
Why is it so difficult to put an end to a relationship, you may be wondering? You’re not an outlier here at all. It’s not difficult at all to have an extramarital affair. You can have an affair with anyone, anyplace, provided you know what you want. This might be with someone at work, in school, or even next door.
Getting the attention of a potential sexual partner is the simple part. Initiating an affair is easy compared to what happens next. It’s easy to get lost in an affair, especially one that’s both emotionally and sexually passionate.
However, we are all aware that relationships don’t last forever. It could be a few days, or it could be a few years. But a choice must be made eventually.
What makes it so difficult to close a chapter on a relationship? Understanding an Affair: Clearing the Mist
Would you abandon your spouse for your lover? Or do you decide to call it quits? The answer may seem apparent to the rest of us, but when you’re involved in an affair, things are different. Spreading yourself too thin between your family and your side lover can cloud your judgment.
For this and other reasons, you should avoid getting into this predicament in the first place. You must now make a decision if you are having an extramarital affair. It’s totally acceptable if you want to call it quits on your affair. However, you may be having trouble truly terminating the relationship at this point.
It’s not always simple to say farewell.
1. Your relationship is helping to fulfill a need.
If your relationship were perfect, you wouldn’t be cheating on them. You both must be through some sort of emotional or mental turmoil in order to take this step. You are getting something out of your affair, whether sexually or emotionally.
2. This person has become your ‘soulmate’ in your eyes.
That your partner has come to feel like a soulmate to you is very normal. The whole event is exhilarating and exciting. You feel a connection and chemistry like no other. Okay, it could be true, but keep in mind that your relationship isn’t typical in that everything is hidden from view, which distorts reality and amps up the suspense.
3. You don’t want to face the world again.
Perhaps you’re feeling too burdened by responsibilities, or perhaps your partner doesn’t have regular sex with you. Yes, I see what you mean. So, your affair served as a distraction from your everyday life and a means to escape the monotony of your family life. Obviously, it will be challenging to give it up, as it has been crucial in your success thus far. Having an affair, however, is not the solution, as you and I both know.
4. Intense ties are difficult to sever.
If you’re wondering why it’s so hard to put an affair to rest, just keep in mind that you and your lover have formed a deep emotional and sexual tie that won’t be easily severed. When it comes to the strength of human bonds, we tend to be nave, but this is an excellent illustration of the opposite. As social beings, we aren’t hardwired to give up on a relationship that brings us joy.
5. You’re happy because of your affair.
Hormones, what a pain in the you-know-what! This is the thing: your affair makes you happy. The release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine in the company of your sweetie will have you floating on the air. Getting high is a sensation that we don’t want to give up easy.
6. You worry that your significant other will get even with you.
Many partners in an affair are unwilling to end it for fear of being discovered. Perhaps you’ve promised your lover that you’ll break up with your spouse and run away with them. Discontinuing contact seems at odds with your assurance. When people find out they’ve been lied to, they can become violent.
7. What you’re really doing is running away from your own issues.
There are some unresolved difficulties the inside of you. We all have problems that we need to address, but instead of confronting yours, you chose to distract yourself with an extramarital fling. Your issues will be waiting for you after the affair is over, but for the time being, it’s a welcome diversion. You can’t get rid of them.
8. Someone you love is integrated into your life.
I’m not going to give you a speech on how terrible cheating is since we’ve all heard it before. You have strong moral convictions and can distinguish between right and wrong. However, your partner has become so integrated into your daily life that you can no longer picture yourself without them.
9. You have no idea if this is the best course of action.
This is a common theme among the letters I receive from people seeking advice. It’s difficult for them to decide to end their affair, and they both have doubts about whether or not they’re doing the right thing. Remember that no matter what you decide, you won’t be making the easy choice. The outcome is inevitable: someone will suffer an injury. You should pick the path that will bring you the most joy in the long run.
10. Don’t do anything before getting a third opinion.
I’m spilling the beans right now, but a therapist is the best bet for figuring out your inner workings. Your motivations for getting involved in the affair will become clearer after reading these.
What makes it so difficult to close a chapter on a relationship? You can’t just walk away from an emotional connection, especially with your partner, without feeling some pain.