What happens if one cheats while having a reasonable chance of getting away with it? The dilemma of whether you should confess if you cheated only once arises. Whether you’d tell your partner or keep it a secret for the rest of your life depends on your answer to that question and the potential consequences of your decision.
In general, cheating is a bad idea, but there are many situations in which it might be acceptable. Researchers are trying to understand the phenomenon of widespread cheating, but they have yet to identify a single, universal cause. A lack of intimacy, appreciation, or even a personality disorder are all possible causes, they say. No matter how you slice it, it’s wrong.
Allowing someone else to cheat is the same as letting them steal your stuff. Sometimes people even plan to steal from others. You make a promise of yourself to one person, then gradually begin to dilute that promise and give it to another.
It’s possible that you’ll end up giving someone your whole self. There will be casualties no matter how you slice it. If you step back and look at the big picture, it’s a lose-lose situation. The cheated-on person, your partner, and you. When people cheat, nobody benefits.
Laws were passed to try to reduce the occurrence of this, but in the end, all the cheating legislators had to do was stop the judicial harassment of cheaters. What other options do we have if we cannot rely on the law to prevent cheating? Surely you’ve heard of Jerry Springer and seen him on television. We take up arms for our loved ones or for ourselves and then continue on with our lives.
What Are the Repercussions of Cheating?
Things alter when we put ourselves in the role of a cheater. We begin to rationalize our behavior, usually while standing before a stained mirror in a gas station. What happened to make you change into this person?
There is a lack of introspection at times. Some people who regularly cheat on their partners never even feel remorse. They can simply brush it off, convinced that they will eventually succeed in avoiding consequences regardless of their actions. To be sure, that’s not how the vast majority of people act. Many of us have feelings.
A person who cheats usually doesn’t set out to deceive. In a healthy relationship, infidelity is never an issue unless one or both partners initiate it because of lingering resentment.
In most cases, the temptation to cheat doesn’t present itself until after the fact. Cheating is more likely to happen when you are emotionally weak, lonely, or angry at your partner’s transgression. The visitor approaches and calls out, “Hey. What’s wrong? Want to have a chat about it? Since they appear to be concerned, you will feel compelled to soak up all the love and attention you can, especially if you aren’t getting it at home.
When people cheat, it leaves a sad mark on the world. They won’t be happy about it, even if they claim to be doing it because they can or to impress their friends. Let’s give credit where credit is due and agree that some people are able to fall in love with their partners without getting hurt. But there is always a chance that one of the three people involved will get hurt.
So What If I Did It Only Once?
Even so, you went ahead and did it. Any way you slice it, you exploited your partner and broke their trust. There is no acceptable context in which cheating might be acceptable. Is there any history of cheating that resulted in the world being saved? Olivia and Fitz don’t really count as Scandal fans.
When you make a commitment to another person, you are effectively chained to them. This is a contractual requirement. It’s a heart-to-heart deal. All of your dreams blend into one. A new responsibility has been placed upon you to ensure the mental health of another person.
If you cheat just once, you could completely nullify your efforts. If your significant other lacked confidence but was a selfless giver, consider yourself lucky. You wouldn’t have any trouble because they would just forgive you and take you back. You’re in deep trouble if you ever find yourself in a relationship with someone who respects your own worth and is willing to fight for it.
If you can cheat once, you can cheat a hundred more times and it won’t matter. As wrong as it is now, it must be recognized. Though you may choose to remain silent, you must accept the situation as it is. What’s your take on whether or not you’re ready to deal with that?
Is It Okay If I Don’t Tell Anyone?
Most secrets, in my experience, do eventually leak out. Though no one outside of your inner circle may know about your cheating ways, word will eventually get out. Do you really want to be the one to cause an even bigger mess by keeping quiet when someone else could have spoken up?
Below are some of the most frequently cited justifications people give for not coming clean to their partners about infidelity.
- This is something I will never repeat. That’s not how the numbers work out. Most people who cheat end up cheating again, but this time they feel less guilt.
- The unnamed third party was a foreigner. Some people in your country have the same genitalia as you do. Just because you put some distance between yourself and a chance encounter doesn’t mean it won’t occur in a more intimate setting with other people.
- They were completely meaningless. Simply agreeing to do it is a huge step in the right direction.
- We just got intimate. The use of semantics as an excuse for cheating will not be accepted. Physical contact, like kissing is very personal. Unlike texting, sexting is a personal form of communication. As a sign of affection, holding hands is very personal. I like you statements are very personal. The most basic form of cheating is having sexual relations with another person.
- They will never learn. This may be true for some, but I shudder to consider the pain they must feel every time they recall the incident.
Should You Share This Information with Your Partner?
Whether you should tell your partner about your mistake depends on why you did it and how sure you are that you can control yourself in the future. Just know that there might be consequences if you tell your partner the truth but keep it from everyone else.
No matter how you slice it, your partner could be harmed. An unintentional gaffe or an old email that was never deleted could ruin everything, no matter how well you try to hide it.
If you do decide to tell the truth, you should be ready for the worst. If you and your partner disagree about something, the blame lies squarely with you. Even if they were responsible for the strain in the relationship, that is no reason to cheat.
You must be mentally ready to conceal the truth. The fact that you cheated will always be a part of your life. To add insult to injury, one other person is aware of it because they were your partner in crime.
When I consider the alternatives, I can see why many people would rather not come clean. Some love require too great a price to pay. They rationalize that keeping the person who means the world to them despite their infidelity is worth bearing the guilt for the rest of their lives.
Have you ever lied to cover up an affair with a partner? Can you tell me how you feel about it? Though we should all feel free to follow our own hearts, we should never endanger the people we care about by making reckless choices.
Related articles you might like: How To Permanently Quit Cheating, What To Say When You Admit To Your Partner About Cheating, Can Flirting Be Considered Cheating?