After a few weeks or even days of texting back and forth, the potential of ghosting comes into play. To avoid heartbreak, you need to know the first thing you need to do before you begin dating.
We’re all afraid of this happening when we’re in the early stages of a crush. In some ways, it’s as if you’ve developed an addiction to the sound of your phone’s ringtone. As we all know, being ghosted isn’t fun, and we’ve all been there.
It’s essential to be clear about your goals from the beginning and not waver from them. Showing your crush that you’re willing to put in the effort while letting them off the hook is a recipe for disaster. It’s in our nature to be selfish. However, if you establish clear ground rules and refuse to budge, they will learn that you are not someone to be trifled with. In an ironic twist, they may find you more appealing because you immediately become a threat to them.
The erroneous message sent by sending texts first and asking questions later
If you’ve always been the one to text first, put your hands up! It’s okay to put up your hands now.
Text, wait for a long, tell yourself you’re going to make them do some of the legwork, but you always give in at the end. In the end, you wind up saying, “How’s your day?”. The talk begins to flow after that. After a while, the adrenaline rush subsides, and you’re left feeling drained.
Can you see the pattern right away?
Although it is ubiquitous, this type of behavior is, in fact, harmful on several levels. It tells the person you’re flirting with that you’ll come running if they relax. Isn’t that a bad look? Fortunately, you may benefit from your mistakes. According to the truth of the matter, many people also fall into the same trap.
If you don’t stop texting first, we won’t say anything.
Of course, someone has to be the first one to break the ice, and we’re not recommending that you never text first, but you should stop texting every single time. If they don’t text you either, wait a while. In the end, they’ll probably give in, and you’ve shown them that you have a life outside them, too.
We’re well aware of the challenges. While being ghosted, you just want to know that things aren’t going the same route as they have in the past. However, remember that if someone is so childish as to play these games, you probably don’t need them in your life.
Stopping texting is the first step to getting your life back on track
9 reasons you should quit texting first every time you want to reach out.
1. You’ll be able to tell immediately if they’re a good or bad choice.
They are not worth your time if you quit texting first and they do not respond. It’s also possible to figure out whether or not they’re a good match for you just by being a little more fluid in your text message.
To maintain a strong communication line, both parties should text each other first on occasion. Stop lowering your self-worth by running after someone who doesn’t bother to greet you with a “good morning” or inquire about how your day has been going so far.
2. Putting up the effort doesn’t have to be constant.
You’ve already done the hard part by constantly messaging first. You’re continually thinking what to say and wondering why they haven’t texted you. It’s a lot of work. Pursuing a crush or a committed relationship should not necessitate this much effort!
Relax. Let’s see what happens if we stop texting for a bit. With a little luck, your lover may figure it out and contribute their due share of the labor.
3. It’s important that you take time out of your day to focus on yourself.
When you first meet a new person, putting them at the center of your existence is natural. In the end, you lose touch with all the people you care about and activities you used to enjoy because of your constant focus on the slightest details.
It’s a vast trap you must stay clear of at all costs. You’ve already started down the slippery path by continuously checking your phone and always being the one to text first. Relax and observe what happens. In the meantime, put your attention back on yourself.
4. In time, you learn to enjoy dating rather than being anxious about it.
It’s a well-known fact that most individuals dislike dating and consider it to be an extremely stressful experience. You found yourself continually checking your phone and thinking of things to text to stay in touch with your loved one. When you reflect on it, it can make you appear desperate, which is something you want to avoid at all costs.
As soon as you learn to quit texting, you begin to feel more relaxed and begin to experience the first hints of love. I’ve heard that relaxing and letting things flow can be a lot of fun.
5. As time goes on, they understand they can’t take you for granted
They won’t try as hard if you’re always happy to do the hard work and text first. It’s a normal human reaction. It’s also possible that if you make them do their half of the texting, they’ll quickly realize that if they take you for granted, you don’t text at all.
Compared to the previous image, this one is significantly more evocative. Don’t you think that’s a much more positive image?
6. They’ll see the value in you.
Even if you don’t reply to their texts, they probably wonder the same thing you are: What are they up to? Is there anyone else they’re with? The reason why they aren’t thinking about me is beyond me.
It’s an old-school power move. In all honesty, games are a part of dating, even if they shouldn’t be. The more they don’t know, the better! It makes them respect you even more and ensures that your self-worth isn’t damaged by always wondering why they aren’t texting you first.
You’ll have something to talk about when you’re constantly texting first because you’ll eventually run out of funny things to say! You’ll find that you have more to talk about if you wait a while and let them do some of the work. You’ll be able to express yourself better. Everything should be equal in a crush, relationship, or date. Then there’s the issue of how we communicate.
7. From the beginning, you lay out your goals and boundaries.
Why would they bother calling you if you’re constantly texting first? You’re demonstrating right away that you’re willing to put in the time and effort. They just expect they can kick back and unwind. However, if you wait for a long before texting, they’ll realize that you’re not someone they can rely on to be as lazy as they’d want to be. As a result, you avoid setting a bad example for others.
8. Your relationship’s “power play” will be balanced.
Although the idea of a relationship having any kind of power is absurd, if you always text first, they have the upper hand in the relationship. In other words, you’re allowing them to control your emotions, leading you to wonder why they’ve stopped communicating with you. When there is some texting back and forth, things are more equal, and that is a good thing.
9. A more desirable date has a strong sense of self-worth.
To show that you realize your worth, it’s essential to establish your boundaries early on and show that you won’t tolerate laziness or a lack of effort. People find someone confident in their abilities and self-worth to be more appealing. Because you’re strong-willed and won’t tolerate bad behavior, you’re a huge draw for them.
It does not imply that you should never text first.
You may be reading this and thinking that you’ll never have to start a text conversation again and that you should wait for them to do so. Wrong! You’ll reap the rewards of not texting first all the time. You’ll lose their attention if you stop sending them text messages all the time. You’ve got to strike the right chord between the two.
To be honest, it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle of texting a new crush, but it doesn’t mean you should. Isn’t that what dating is all about, having fun and getting to know each other? You’re putting yourself under unnecessary stress if you expect yourself to always come up with something unique and witty to say. Not a fun or lighthearted thing to do!
It’s time to find ways to fill your time so you don’t have to wait for a text. Do not stick to a strict pattern but take it in turns. The texting load will be shared if this individual likes you and you like them. Because you’re not desperate or trying to cling to them, all of this enhances your attractiveness in their eyes because they perceive you as a self-sufficient individual with your interests and responsibilities.
Those first texts should be held back, but not all the time!
Putting off texting till later isn’t an easy task. Keep your head down, find something else to do, and don’t give in. It’ll all work out for the best in the end and get a lot simpler.
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