The Perils of Being Uncertain in a Relationship and How to Get Past It
Until it’s not, uncertainty is a fun component of any relationship. It may appear innocent, but relationship uncertainty can have serious consequences.
A lack of clarity could indicate that you are unsure of the direction in which your relationship is heading, if one exists at all. When someone is unsure about their future plans with a present partner, they may use this as a sign that they’d prefer a more casual relationship. It could also be a sign that a person is still married, despite their feelings for you. We’d have to write a book larger than the Bible if we allowed ourselves to detail all the possible uncertainties that arise from partnerships.
Uncertainty in a relationship and the problems it poses..
In a relationship, uncertainty doesn’t mean that the person you’re seeing isn’t the right one for you. It’s impossible to get past the dating stage if you judge a relationship’s prospects solely on the basis of certainty. During the course of a relationship, a person learns about themselves as well as the other person they’re dating. As a result, expecting certainty early in a relationship is unreasonable.
Because of this, protracted periods of uncertainty can be detrimental, especially when both partners aren’t talking about it or doing anything to progress the relationship. “Well, at least it’s better than nothing,” you would say. “What have I got to lose?” However, the reality is that you stand to lose a great deal. It is dangerous to stay in a relationship where there is a great deal of ambiguity.
Self-esteem can take a serious hit when faced with uncertainty.
Blaming and feeling sorry for yourself is a common reaction when you’re unhappy with the state of your relationship. “Am I not good enough to be in a stable relationship?” or “Do I not deserve to feel secure?” are common questions you’ll begin asking yourself.
You’ll be haunted by these thoughts, and they’ll be bad for your self-esteem. If you don’t manage your expectations and take action to improve your relationship, you’ll fall into a downward cycle of self-destructive thoughts. Your self-esteem will plummet, and you’ll be more prone to accept whatever is thrown your way rather than fight for what you want. There is a trap that you are progressively sinking into—a snare that has been built utilizing your poor self-esteem, and it is extremely difficult to break free of.
For both of you, it is simple to reject responsibility for the other’s well-being if you are unsure of your status as a pair or have not discussed your roles and limitations as a couple. Both of you will refuse to assume responsibility for the well-being of the other if regulations aren’t in place.
No matter how bad things are, should you demand that your spouse visit you so that you may talk about it, or is it too much? What if you were laid off and no longer had an income? Only the person seeking a carefree existence will benefit from a lack of certainty in a partnership. If things go well for them, they’re free to leave should things go awry. Big things cannot be demanded, and this will be painfully clear when times are desperate.
Finally, we’re able to admit that we’re not in love with the other person after all.
Some of us find hard-to-get, unpredictable folks tiring rather than thrilling. They could be heated one minute, then dangerously cold the next. At first, this kind of behavior could drive us crazy, but we’ve grown to adore it! Right? As a result, we set out on a quest to win them over completely. We participate in their game because we like the thrill of the hunt.
It’s nearly impossible to meet new individual.
Even if your relationship is teetering on edge, you refuse to date anyone else. Even if your relationship is in jeopardy, it’s against your beliefs to see anyone else while you’re seeing someone else. Due to your inability to be approachable, you will most likely reject other potential suitors and you won’t offer yourself as a separate individual.
Chronic mental strain.
Having an unstable relationship makes us feel lonely, weary, and just plain sad. There’s no denying that you have a lot of fun together, but if you haven’t dealt with any of your relationship’s issues in a while, you’ll find yourself feeling conflicted. The fact that he hasn’t proposed to you keeps you awake at night. When you read her romantic writings for you, you feel like you want to punch a wall, yet when you see her talking to her ex, you want to scream.
You’ll look back and realize that you wasted a decade of your life. Things will work out just well, despite the fact that we’re not getting any younger. Having a positive outlook and a willingness to love without conditions are admirable qualities, but if you find yourself waiting impatiently for things to happen, change, or settle, it may be time to be selfish.
Tell your partner the truth about your desires. Ask if you’re all on the same page. You need to find out the truth and remain calm when confronted with it. Even if you’ve talked things out and are still confused about your relationship, ask yourself if you’re willing to wait a little longer. Whether or not you choose to wait, there is no guarantee that things will go your way.
It’s impossible to know how our relationships will turn out in advance, but if the other person’s lack of certainty is negatively impacting our own, it’s imperative that we address the issue in a timely manner that benefits both sides.
Force the other person to define the relationship, but don’t keep you waiting. Don’t waste time worrying about your relationship; talk about where you want it to go as soon as you feel comfortable doing so.