As we examine the behavior of serial cheaters, we begin to see patterns and signs that they leave behind. It’s almost as if they have a secret code that only they understand, which allows them to continue their infidelity undetected. This “serial cheater’s secret code” is something that those who have been betrayed would benefit from learning.
Everybody knows it’s horrible when a partner cheats on them. It’s dramatic in a painful way, hurts to experience, shatters trust, and inevitably leads to the breakdown of relationships. You should immediately start looking elsewhere if it comes to light that the person you’ve been seeing has cheated on previous partners. I mean, who wants to end up with someone who cheats all the time?
However, that’s hardly the worst of the type. One more type of cheater, the serial cheater, takes adultery to a new level because the thing worse than ordinary cheating is cheating on someone not only once or twice but in numbers that they can’t get away from. The question here, however, is why. The motivations behind chronic cheating have long been a mystery. We need to know their justification and what drives them.
Can you define a serial cheater?
Do psychiatrists use the same criterion for defining serial killers as they do for defining serial cheaters? That’s not the case. It’s hardly great news, but you might be shocked to learn that there are a few niggling similarities between the two.
It’s commonly believed that those with a history of serial cheating have a propensity to be unfaithful in relationships. They jump into relationships but don’t put in the effort required to maintain them, specifically the rule of basic faithfulness. As we’ve already established, serial cheaters are the ones that betray several times inside a relationship and who, as we’ve also indicated, have a history of failed relationships as a result of their chronic cheating. Once a cheater, always a cheater, as the saying goes.
What causes someone to cheat repeatedly?
Cheating has many negative consequences for the cheater, but they continue to do it anyhow. The question then becomes what keeps them taking that chance. Reasons why:
1. Simply said, because they can.
Why serial cheater keeps cheating often is because they can and don’t care. Some people who cheat repeatedly are too attractive, wealthy, or self-assured to care about how their present partner feels about the infidelity. In addition, they are convinced that they will find hookups regardless of how they have messed up their previous relationships because of their fortunate position.
Because of this outlook, they will continue to cheat even if their current relationship fails. Why? Because one follows naturally from the other.
2. Engaging with multiple sexual partners.
Sex is another prevalent and frequent factor in the lives of serial cheaters. There will always be folks who just can’t sleep in the same place night after night. Although their present spouse may have some value to them, they cannot control their sexual cravings and seek fulfillment in other relationships.
3. They don’t want any commitments of any kind.
The inability to commit to a long-term relationship is another factor in serial cheating. They will suddenly abandon the ship at the first available opportunity. They are a complete a**hole for being too lazy and self-absorbed to end their relationship with their current partner.
4. They’re bored by steady partnerships.
There are distinct phases that occur when a new romantic relationship begins. The first phase is the “getting to know” phase, during which you get to know each other and form bonds based on what you’ve learned. Once you and your partner have settled in, you will better understand one other’s personality. In the second phase of a relationship, you may find that you are more willing to do new things in the presence of your partner that you might have been too nervous to try before.
Serial cheaters tend to avoid the more serious and settled second stage in favor of the earlier and more exciting phase of getting to know one another. When things finally settle down, they feel uneasy and bored, driving them to seek that “first stage rush” elsewhere.
5. They’re not mature enough to handle issues in a relationship.
Every couple has its ups and downs. There are usually two responsible things to do when relationship problems arise: sit down and work things out or break up if they can’t be saved. The alternative to confronting their partner about their infidelity is for serial cheaters to look elsewhere for love.
6. To objectify oneself sexually.
Some people who repeatedly cheat do so out of a defective sense of sexual self-objectification rather than because of problems in their existing relationships. It’s a mouthful, but they want to believe that they are someone that is sexually desired by others.
These individuals place high importance on their sexual desirability among the general public yet believe that being in a relationship has prevented them from pursuing other sexual partners. Because of this “need to be desired,” they go for sexual excitement elsewhere rather than within their committed relationship. When they do get together with someone, it’s like a vampire finally receiving a drink of blood to their inflated sense of sexual desirability.
7. A sense of masculinity typical of the ancient world.
For reasons we still can’t fathom, there are still some men in the world who were taught to believe this way. Old school macho males pride themselves on their capacity to sleep with as many women as possible. Though this quality is prized in this line of thought, it usually predicts a life of alcoholism and isolation for its male carriers.
8. Those that repeatedly cheat usually do it because their partner is highly understanding.
It’s not always the cheater’s fault if their partner repeatedly enables it.
Those who can “forgive” their lovers who cheat on them time and time again are truly remarkable. Whatever their motivation, we can all agree that this is not a healthy partnership.
9. That’s why—they’re quick to seize an opening.
Chronic dishonesty is akin to the capitalist system. If you can reap the benefits with minimal effort, it’s worth taking the necessary steps to put yourself in a win-win scenario. So, a guy with a wonderful, homey girlfriend who is sexually inept would try to make up for it by cheating on her. If he keeps looking, eventually, he’ll meet a bored rich widower, and so on. Now you understand what I mean.
While a serial cheat’s reasons for infidelity may vary, they all come down to a lack of respect for their partner and a harmful pattern of looking outside the relationship for answers to problems within it.