Feeling a strong attachment towards someone you fancy can seem like the most natural response. Yet, as we navigate the intricate dance of getting to know someone, it’s important to mull over a few things to think about before investing emotionally. This deliberate pause might just be the tool you need to make the right move in this intriguing game of affections.
Yes, we have guessed your thoughts. Developing feelings for a new person is not always in your control. Okay, we get it. But you can stop yourself in time if you keep your eyes open. But if you watch out, you can catch yourself in time. There are two kinds of people when it comes to falling in love: those who let themselves get too deeply attached and those who keep their distance.
Neither is ideal, but overly rapid attachment almost always has negative consequences. Getting close to a new person isn’t a decision to be made lightly.
When you let your defenses down and commit to another person, you put yourself through a lot of emotional and physical challenges. Before deciding to immerse yourself in someone else’s life completely, you should take some time to focus on your own needs.
The Common Blunder Made in A New Relationship
When you’re dating someone for the first time, getting carried away by your emotions is tempting. You might rush into doing something without considering whether it is appropriate for this new individual. Many relationships end in disaster because of common blunders made at the beginning. The main issue is the rapid pace of events.
Because of this, feelings for a person often develop quickly after meeting them. It’s hard to keep from becoming emotionally invested when everything seems ideal, almost like a dream. This, however, is the sensible and useful thing to do. You can’t think clearly when your heart is set on someone else.
When you live in the moment, you focus solely on satisfying your immediate desires, which might lead to a rushed development of your relationship. Generally speaking, the quicker a relationship starts, the quicker it will terminate.
The Risk of Rushed Attachment
We’ve all been here before, at least once. We’ve all been on a date or started a new relationship and felt ourselves getting attached, only to have things move at what seemed like the speed of light. This is problematic since you are skipping crucial stages of getting to know one another.
Getting attached quickly can make you mistake what you’re feeling for love, even if it isn’t. Furthermore, it prevents you from determining whether or not you have the requisite chemistry and compatibility to proceed with a romantic relationship.
You can’t objectively consider all these elements since you already think they’re great and want to be with them. Therefore, you will immediately disregard any problems or warning signs that arise.
Most essential, you must learn the distinction between love and attachment before trying to force a relationship on them.
Things to think about before letting yourself get emotionally invested:
The truth is that there will be times when letting someone see your true feelings will make you feel bad later on. They can hurt you more if you let them in than if you keep yourself from caring too much about them.
Put that newfound enthusiasm for this fantastic person on hold for a second. Thinking about all of these factors before you dig in and get to know them better.
1. Do you feel prepared for that?
Your own safety is the top priority. Are you in a healthy place to start dating again? Do you want to get together with the right person for the right reasons? Investing yourself fully in another person is a tiring endeavor.
Before you go in, make sure you can give it your all. Be sure you have what it takes before getting emotionally attached; many people do so before they are ready.
2. Can they handle it?
A happy couple consists of two individuals working together. They need to be prepared just as you do before they will invest in you. You should also consider the person’s current situation. You should now know them well enough to judge whether or not they are prepared to enter into a committed relationship.
Consider their current state of affairs and evaluate whether or not they are prepared for a serious relationship. Do they have pressing issues that may prevent them from committing to one another? How prepared are they psychologically and emotionally? Pose these inquiries to both yourself and them.
3. Do you feel ready to lay it all on the line for this person?
One of the most typical mistakes committed while caring profoundly about another person is this. They give up everything to be with the one they love. Before investing in another person, you should get your own life in order. If you don’t stop yourself, you’ll use up every last bit of energy inside of you and be left with nothing.
Furthermore, this develops into a mutually destructive codependency for the two of you. They shouldn’t, despite your feelings, take up all of your time. It should be about two complete people finding each other and enhancing their mutual joy.
So take a breath and give this some serious consideration. Do you cancel your plans and spare time to take their call at the last second? In that case, try not to get attached.
4. Should you give them your heart?
Since love can cloud our judgment, you should evaluate whether or not they are worthy of your affection. Does the person you’re considering dating even merit your feelings? Do they help you in any way? Do they serve a purpose in your life? Your emotional and time commitment is greatly appreciated.
In particular, time spent is something that cannot be reclaimed. Make sure they deserve it, and the feeling is mutual before investing too much time or energy. If this individual isn’t worthwhile, you should back off and give them time to get their act together, if you care about yourself at all.
5. Do you just ride the incline of desire?
Your relationship is only speeding up at this point. You can’t invest your feelings if all you do is talk about or perform sexual things. Put the brakes on and reverse a little. Spend time getting to know them thoroughly. Despite how fantastic it may feel, sex is not a sufficient reason to commit to someone.
In a happy partnership, sex is just one element of the whole. So, give in to the want to form an in-depth mental and emotional bond. It’s worth a shot if you still have ties to each other.
6. Have faith in them?
One of the most important things in every relationship is trust. It’s crucial that you start with this question since it has enormous implications. Do you have faith that they won’t harm you? Putting your trust in another person leaves you vulnerable to being hurt by them. They can make you quite angry.
If you don’t trust someone, you can’t expect to be open and honest with them. Ask yourself why you don’t fully trust them, and make an effort to fix whatever it is.
Don’t forget to listen to your intuition when deciding whether or not to trust them. Usually, your first instinct is correct.
7. Do you still prioritize work or school?
The crucial things are still front and center in your mind. You’re not giving all of your focus to your new acquaintance. Verify that the essential tenets of your life, such as work or school, remain stable.
You can’t give your complete emotional attention if you’re also juggling other, more pressing matters. It’s not easy to keep a relationship going on top of other responsibilities like work and family.
8. Have you moved on completely?
Give this some thought, and try to answer honestly. Getting emotionally involved with someone else when you still haven’t gotten over your ex is a recipe for disaster. You can start attributing your ex’s feelings to them. Allow yourself time to recover from past relationships.
Being forthright about how far you’ve come after splitting up with your ex is critical. If you’re dwelling on your former spouse, your performance will suffer.
9. Do they seem to care about you as much as you care about them?
Be sure they are willing to do the same before letting them into your heart. You shouldn’t expect to be the only one to put work into the relationship.
Can you tell if they’re trying to commit to you? You should give it a shot if they prove they are sincere about you by making an effort to spend time with you. Otherwise, it’s safer to take a step back and observe developments.
10. Should you let yourself become emotionally attached?
You shouldn’t become attached until you’ve got answers to the aforementioned inquiries. It’s important to evaluate your motivations for entering a relationship, your emotional and mental preparedness, and the degree to which you’re both putting in work. It would be pointless to expend your effort otherwise.
It’s healthy to care deeply about another person. You shouldn’t just act rashly; you should weigh the pros and cons carefully.
Meaningful articles you might like: 9 Crucial Emotional Needs That Keep Your Relationship Strong, Recognizing and Coping with an Emotionally Distant Partner, 10 Signs That You Have Emotional Attraction — and Why You Need It