Casting away lingering bitterness from feeling overlooked to fulfill your partner’s desires is crucial – such is the essence of compromise. But the moment you discern you’re the only one bearing the relationship’s weight, it becomes vital to learn what to do if your partner always takes you for granted.
I think most of us have experienced the sting of being taken for granted in a connection at some point. Perhaps our spouse or significant other does not recognize our efforts or appreciate our support. It stinks, but it’s to be expected from time to time. Perhaps this month has been especially hectic for your partner because of a job or personal issues.
Once it becomes habitual, though, and being taken for granted in a relationship becomes more like being neglected or unloved, it’s time to stop it. How, though?
Relationship Advice on How To Stop Feeling Unappreciated
You and your spouse have had enough time to figure out what each of you can do to stop feeling taken for granted.
1. Talk up.
Please don’t think that I blame you for feeling used. I can relate because I have been here before. That stinks. You put forth a lot of effort yet receive no recognition for it. My former self, a people pleaser, went out of her way for others and tolerated being taken for granted as a result.
I never made my feelings known, whether they were understood or not. Therefore, make your voice heard. You can bring up the situation in the future if they ask you to do something and you feel underappreciated. They should make it a point to express their appreciation the next time you do something nice for them.
2. Never take somebody for granted.
In other instances, we forget about our partner’s feelings in favor of our own. They may feel unappreciated or taken for granted on your part. Be sure they know how much they mean to you by expressing your gratitude to them. They can interpret that as an invitation to retaliate against you.
3. Examine your actions.
Are you helping out in unexpected ways? How readily do you agree with their requests? Do you depend on others to assist you with tasks? Yes, they could be more demonstrative in their gratitude, but sometimes you just have to tell them no.
4. Say you’re welcome.
If they still don’t understand it the next time you give them a favor and they don’t thank you, try telling them they’re welcome.
They may have taken your help for granted, but hearing “you’re welcome” will make them realize how much they appreciate you providing dinner, taking out the trash, transporting their parents to the airport, or helping them financially through graduate school.
5. Prioritize your own needs.
It’s sweet to prioritize your partner, but remember to take care of yourself. Doing what you need first is a certain way to stop being taken for granted in a relationship. If they ask you for something again, you shouldn’t comply right away. Get started once you’ve taken care of what you need to.
6. Listen to what you want.
We worry about our relationships without even recognizing them. I made sure my ex did everything on his list and let me know if I could help. Even though he didn’t ask me to, I took care of it immediately.
That was unnecessary of me to do. He was an adult and capable of taking care of himself. However, after making the additional effort, I felt exhausted. Don’t repeat my errors; instead, figure out what you require. Attend to your responsibilities, interests, and social life. Get in touch and see how everyone is doing, but don’t prioritize it.
7. Say no.
You shouldn’t feel obligated to accept every invitation. I realize this may sound callous or egotistical. However, you can confidently answer “no,” and I’m sure they’ve told you that before.
You shouldn’t feel obligated to help others if you’re struggling to deal with your problems. They might reconsider their actions if you begin denying their requests.
8. Set a boundary for them.
It’s possible that you don’t mind helping out around the house, especially if it involves your significant other, such as picking up their dry cleaning or walking the dog. But I bet you dread certain tasks on your to-do list. It’s necessary to compromise, but you shouldn’t give up everything.
Inform them of your limits. You might tell them you enjoy attending their mother’s lunches and work functions but aren’t interested in their ballet or boxing performances. If no restriction is imposed, then there is none.
9. Stay quiet till they ask.
Don’t get there before them. You might be able to guess their wants and requirements and decide it’s easier on you to fulfill them yourself.
You need to hang back till they come to you. It’s okay to ask. Those who ask you to do something admit they need you.
10. Put your worries to rest.
Many people want to stop being taken for granted but are rarely given the attention they deserve. Additionally, we have a propensity towards people-pleasing and avoidance of conflict. We worry that expressing our true feelings will only incite hostility.
Suppose you want to stop being taken for granted in a relationship. In that case, you must overcome your reluctance to acknowledge your emotions. What would you do if bigger difficulties occur that you and your partner can’t solve because of a lack of communication?
Avoid being taken for granted in future relationships by learning how to avoid doing so yourself. At first, it may seem impossible, but as people stop stepping all over you, you’ll quickly come to appreciate the freedom you’ve gained. You should have better luck than this.
Meaningful articles you might like: How to Give the Silent Treatment to Your Partner Just Right, How to Stop Talking Rudely to Your Partner and Respect Them, The Key to Making Your Partner Feel Safe and Committed in Your Relationship
