Why You're Lonely in a Relationship and What You Can Do About It

Why You’re Lonely in a Relationship and What You Can Do About It

The pang of loneliness can be hard to bear, especially as it tends to isolate the individual experiencing it. But what could possibly eclipse that distress is the paradox of feeling alone despite being coupled up. This conundrum, which we’ll delve into in this discussion, focuses on why you’re lonely in a relationship and what you can do about it, offering insights and strategies for resolution.

Being lonely exacerbates all of your other negative emotions. It deepens the depths of sorrow and dampens the brightness of joy. But it’s more challenging for couples to deal with loneliness.

When you isolate yourself, you shut down emotionally. You’re not as close as you were before, and you miss that. The need for social interaction is inherent to the human condition. That kind of intimacy is natural in a committed partnership.

Thus, it is more painful to be in a committed relationship and experience loneliness than it is to be single and lonely. It’s possible, in fact, to experience greater loneliness in a committed partnership than in solo life. This is because it makes you want the connection even more, when you realize the other person is out of reach.

Do you feel lonely despite being with someone?

Being alone and experiencing loneliness are two different things. It’s not always the case that being alone means you’re lonely. If you love and understand yourself, you can be happy alone.

Feelings of isolation are there whether or not there are other people present. Which one do you prefer? Just how lonely do you feel? It’s not that you’re alone; it’s just that the people around you aren’t helping you feel connected.

You may be lonely if you can’t find somebody to chat to. You’re missing out on something even if you’re in a committed relationship.

However, it may arrive from anywhere. It’s not always easy to pinpoint what causes isolation and loneliness. Many factors might contribute to a partner feeling lonely, and until those factors are addressed, overcoming loneliness may seem insurmountable.

If you’re with someone, you shouldn’t feel lonely.

This is the tough part. It’s therapeutic in nature. Understanding the events that lead to your current mood may take some time. After identifying the trigger, it may take time to feel better due to the human inclination to absorb painful events.

But if you’re in a relationship and you’re feeling lonely, it’s a good place to start by figuring out why you’re lonely. If you and your partner haven’t been getting intimate lately, it could not be because of your busy schedules.

  1. Do you permit yourself to be exposed? Do you want to connect with people, or do you shut down out of fear of being hurt? You or your partner may be cautious to fully commit to the relationship if you or they have experienced hurt in the past. You may find yourself isolated because of your reluctance to take that chance.
  2. When they’re upset, does your lover withdraw from you? If your partner withdraws under pressure, but you like to talk it out, the difference can feel very alienating.
  3. How come you keep avoiding certain subjects? Do you have something to hide? Avoiding a minor event, such as seeing an ex or spending too much money, can lead to a web of falsehoods that drives a wedge between you and your partner.
  4. Do you talk about how you feel about your significant other? Everything, good and bad? Exactly why you feel it’s necessary to “fix” your relationship. Are you trying to sway them in any way? If so, the inability to sense the connection may make you doubt its legitimacy.
  5. Do you shy away from confrontation whenever possible? Attempting to keep things on a positive note is not what builds relationships. Repressing your emotions and thoughts simply drives a wedge between you and the other person.

In a relationship, loneliness can be caused by any of these factors. Think about which of these is most relevant to you. Why are they acting like that? Do you two have a plan? Can you discuss it with your significant other?

Advice For Couples That Are Lonely Together:

You’re not alone if you’re feeling lonely in a relationship for any of the aforementioned reasons. Even those who are in committed partnerships occasionally experience feelings of isolation. It’s okay to feel that way; working through your feelings is important.

Without help, loneliness in a relationship can become overwhelming. If you and your spouse are bothered by feelings of isolation, try doing the following activities together.

Expose yourself.

Opening up about your feelings is the first step to overcoming loneliness in a relationship. It will be hard to feel close if you can’t talk to each other frankly and openly.

Put your judgments aside.

It’s important to feel comfortable opening out to your partner. Just switch back and forth between talking and listening. Try to understand the other person’s viewpoint before dismissing it out of hand.

Let your emotions go wild.

You can’t expect your partner to do anything while you ca unable control your feelings. Worry that you will get wounded badly. Feel abandoned and feeble. One must experience these emotions in order to process them.

Share what you’ve learned.

You should view each other as potential sources of knowledge. Be attentive to the other person’s words. Find out what they’re trying to say.


Showing you’re both in it together by agreeing to compromise. A partnership becomes self-centered when its members refuse to make any concessions. Finding common ground shows how much you care about each other and the relationship.

Don’t rush.

Spend time together talking and laughing. Take baby steps if you’re having trouble talking to each other again. Take some dates. Do tasks that will force you to step outside of your comfort zone. Cooperate on a common goal.

Explain your concerns about harm coming to you.

Share your true feelings with your lover. Don’t place guilt or responsibility on them. Make it clear that you are simply sharing your feelings, want to work together to solve the problem, and are not making any accusations.

Do not evaluate your connection with others.

Don’t judge your current partnership based on your former relationships or the partnerships you see in the media. This will only serve to put an unnecessary chasm between you two. It’s possible to have a great relationship but feel like it’s not enough because you see another couple doing more on the internet.

Find the common thread.

Do you frequently experience feelings of isolation while coupled up? Is there a point in your relationship when you begin withdrawing from your partner? Do you find it difficult to maintain interest after the initial novelty has worn off? If that’s the case, examining your feelings and even engaging in some form of therapy could be helpful.

Consult a marriage counselor.

You should contact a couples counselor if you and your partner have tried to work together to combat loneliness in your relationship but have been unsuccessful.

An objective third party may help you and your spouse solve your problems.

It’s alienating to feel lonely in a relationship, but that feeling can pass. Follow these instructions to change your outlook and your life one baby step at a time.

Meaningful articles you might like: Why Feeling Distant Isn’t Always the End of a Relationship, Signs That You Are Meant to be Alone, 12 Tips on How to Form an Emotional Connection with Anyone

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